A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there everyone,My question is pretty classic. I met a guy whilst out with friends. (I'm female, by the way.) We slept together. It was bangin'. A week later, I ran into him again (we are in the same social circle, which is awkward.) We wound up in bed again. It was, dare I say, even better. Saw him again last weekend and there was some flirting but mainly I get the feeling he is creeped out and doesn't want to do it again, even though we decided to be f-buddies (and if he wasn't interested, he would have said so at the time, no?) I'm not one to be pushy and I'm not going to say anything for such a trivial matter, but I'd like to hook up with him again (though he is by no means the only person I have things going on with). Any ideas how I can make myself seem irresistible? PS, I am going to be away for a couple of weeks just now, which I figure I can use to my advantage.Thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Tread carefully with him. I've definitely made the mistake of thinking guys will take sex just because they can get it easily.The creeped out vibe you sense probably means he has reservations about having a casual sexual relationship. Some guys don't in fact enjoy casual sex. Easy sex can become boring fairly quickly. Some men really do like the chase and emotional tension. It's a cliche, but it's true, people (including men) like what they can't have. They also respect and value a girl more highly for being choosy. If he's sleeping with you and ambivalent about it, there is a good chance the enjoys the sex with you, but hates himself for indulging in it....the problem is he might end up resenting you, disrespecting you, and ultimately dropping you for making him feel that way. He may already know that you have other people on the side.If you are only interested in the sex and you don't mind him disappearing in a couple weeks if he gets bored or too uncomfortable, then go ahead, bang away.If you think you might care for him at all, AT ALL, and want to be able to face him in the street without akwardness next month or next year, please slow down and reverse course. Perhaps tell him, you were a bit impulsive, back track on the F-buddy plan, stop hitting him up for sex, and let him approach you. As far as attraction goes, putting some restraint and anticipation into your dynamic (making him work for it) usually helps things. You want him to want you right? So give him a chance to build an appetite...I'm not trying to lecture, it's just that I've been where you've been. I've been horny for men, put out too easily, and have had them dissappear after the fifth shag because they are too embarassed to be seen with me. Perhaps you think you won't mind now, but I suspect you eventually will.
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