A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Err, how do I put this? Long story short: my boyfriend has a long, thick penis and I have an unusually small, tight vagina. Sex doesn't last very long because these two factors combined mean everything is finished before it even starts. Our sex life is very poor at the moment because he can never last more than about two to five minutes in me. What are some positions that will make my vagina less tight? We have tried just about everything.Additionally, if my boyfriend goes too deep into my vagina it hurts the outside wall of my uterus near my cervix. There are very few positions where my vagina feels comfortable or my body in general feels comfortable. Is my vagina tight because it's not relaxing enough due to this pain?I am starting to feel like my boyfriend and I are never going to be sexually compatible. I have never orgasmed before and get more pleasure from using a vibrator than sex with him, even if he goes down on me with his tongue or fingers. Is there no way to make my vagina more "accommodating" other than having kids? LOL
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female
reader, dr.2.be  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 I am also very tight and my boyfriend is very endowed too and he used to have the same problem during sex. He would cum within 5 minutes of sex and I would just be starting. There were some other problems too. Here are some things we did to solve them:
When he feels like he is going to cum, tell your boyfriend to slow down A LOT or completely stop but don't pull out as reinsertion may defeat the purpose. My boyfriend usually completely stops and then he will kiss me for about a minute or two then start up again, but go slowly. As long as he does not go too fast, he can last for a good amount of time. That has worked very well for us.
We encounter problems in the beginning. First its hard to "find" me and he can't just stick it but rather go in slowly. Using lube helps with that but it still hurts for a couple minutes then starts to feel good. I just deal with it. The most comfortable positions for me are cowgirl and missionary. Doggie is rather uncomfortable and if he does it too long I can start to feel sick to my stomach or have a sour stomach because of the way it feels. So if you guys do doggie, don't do it for too long unless it doesnt hurt. Stick mainly to cowgirl and missionary. Using lube helps a lot too. It makes it less painful in the beginning. Another thing is try and relax as much as possible this can make it easier and less painful as well.
As far as orgasm goes, I don't orgasm easily either. The best way for a woman to orgasm is through clitoral stimulation which can be achieved during oral sex. It takes practice for a man to get it just right so it may just take time.
Your vagina will always be tight unless you have kids. (which is not really a bad thing.) It will get used to his larger member over time but he may never be able to have hard and fast sex with you and always needs to be careful. Its less painful for me now but it still hurts at times. And I need a few days in between sex so my body can recover or else it hurts. All I can say is use lots of lube and make sure you let your body recover enough between each time you have sex.
Hope this helped.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): Sounds like you guys are perfect, if you ask me. Large man and tight woman? Are you hour glass shaped and he a chiseled mass of marbled muscle? Kinda cartoony.All I can say is that the more sex you have, the more "accustomed" you will become to his member. So hop on and go as long as you can! Maybe you can convince him to go through some exercises that will increase his staying power.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh gosh I haven't measured properly in ages lol I would say roughly 8" long and 2.5" across?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Just wanted to say that I love pain lol But anyway im not sure what to say about this. zhow big is his penis if i may ask? Im not trying to be a smart ass or anything i was just curious was all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Oops, I accidentally hit to post before I was finished.
The position that caused us the least problems was missionary. That was also the only position that she ever used with her 8 inch bf and they dated for over a year. She doubts that she could have done doggy with him, but they never tried. After her surgery 4 months ago missionary was the only position that we used while I was being very careful. It was the easiest one for me to limit my penetration and that is probably why her other bf only used that position. the only thing with missionary is that the woman had no real control over penetration, so she has to depend on her partner being careful and gentle.
I'm not sure what more to suggest, as I have never had to deal with this to the extent that you and he have to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): My wife's uterus was only slightly tipped, according to her gyn, so I would guess that it would be more trouble if yours were tipped more. She had severe endo since her teens and had surgery when she was 25 to remove the cysts in her pelvic region. I just asked her if that caused painful intercourse and she doesn't remember, as that was nearly 40 years ago. She was with her first husband then, so I wouldn't know either. Besides, she remembers that he was somewhat smaller than average so he might have never gotten that far in to get to that tight area.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 July 2009):
 Check with your doctor and keep us updated. Send me a private message and I will ask you a question and give you a tip on that basis.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe link you just posted is exactly the position that hurts me the most! Doggy style isn't much better either, but it lets my legs relax - crouching over my boyfriend's hips in the cowgirl style is difficult because my own hips aren't very wide. I am not very flexible as I had corrective spinal surgery when I was in my teens, but that shouldn't contribute to the pain I'm feeling during sex, as it was concentrated in my upper back between my shoulders. What that means though is that I can't do things like touch my toes or roly-polys.
My cervix protrudes into my vaginal cavity quite far which is what convinced me I had a tipped uterus. I also have a history of endometriosis in my family (my aunt needed a hystorectomy because of it) so could it be that?
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (1 July 2009):
I agree with troubled. One more thing, poster: don't give up just now. It might take some time and patience, but I am sure you can work this out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): How do you do it when you are on top? What I mean is do you squat or kneel? It is very tiring and hard on the leg muscles to squat. If that is what you do then try kneeling the next time. I've only been with one woman who could squat for any length of time at all and she was a competitive amateur skater and fairly athletic.
Use this:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_cowgirl.shtml
Sorry if I'm too graphic, but I'm trying to help.
My wife and I have always had problems with certain positions in the past because of her cervix. She had a hysterectomy 4 months ago and now we don't have any problems, so that protruding cervix can be a problem. To avoid hitting the cervix you need to use positions where his penis is pointed toward your back and not toward your stomach. Like missionary would work better than doggy. If you are on top then it would be better if you lean forward instead of being straight up. It is also more comfortable if you are trying to prevent him going in too deep.
However, let me repeat the basic fact that he may not ever be able to get it in the entire way without it hurting. In the 30 years that my wife and I have been together my fit in here never changed. She was just as tight up there the week before her hyst then she was our first time in bed. Even though I'm average thickness we were still limited to what positions we could use.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem isn't the amount of lube we use or the positions we're in because none of them make any difference. Being on top is actually the worst position because it takes up a lot of my energy trying to prevent him from going too deep and hurting me. I have however suspected I have a tipped uterus for a long time and should probably visit a gyn to confirm it.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (30 June 2009):
Troubled, you got what I meant: Just a few licks won't make it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): I agree with Daniel, but one of his comments has me confused:
"Just licking the vagina is not supposed to give you an orgasm."
I am assuming that he means that you are not going to have an orgasm with just a few licks. This is true, but many women have their best orgasms with oral sex. My wife is that way and so was another woman who I used to date. She only had orgasms with oral and they were more intense than any that I have ever seen with anyone. Here is a site about oral sex and excellent information on all aspects of sex.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/pw_cunnilingus.shtml
There is both a basic and an advanced section on cunnilingus. You should be able to have great orgasms with oral if you are relaxed and he does it correctly.
The other thing is the pain that you are experiencing. Fear of pain will make you not able to relax. If you can't relax then you won't get wet and will stay tight. A lubricant like K-Y or Astroglide will help, but won't solve the problem if you can't relax internally and you won't relax internally if you are afraid of pain.
The tightness at the cervix could be because of a tipped uterus. About 30% of women, including my wife, have a tipped uterus. That causes your cervix to protrude further into the vaginal canal than usual. That makes it tighter up there. If the guy is of average thickness then it can make it feel very good for him if he is long enough to get up in that area. If he is thick then it will be very tight up there. Your gyn can easily tell if you have a tipped uterus. If it is just slightly tipped (also called retroverted) then it causes no problem, but it does make it tighter in the area of the cervix.
My wife once dated a guy and they tried to have sex twice and he just wouldn't fit. She says that it hurt a lot just trying to get in and she had to tell him to stop. She had previously dated a guy who was about 8 inches long and somewhat thick and they normally didn't have any problem, except that he could never go in more than just a few inches. She doesn't think that he ever got it as far as the tight area by her cervix. Some women are just tight and may or may not ever be able to comfortably have sex with a large guy. I know that a lot of people say that any women can have sex with any guy because a baby can pass through there. Well, what I have to say to that is do you want to feel like you are giving birth every time you have sex. Besides, a lot of women never have a natural child birth.
When a guy is very big and the woman is small then he might just have to be satisfied to know that he will not be able to get in all the way. He may just have to know that he can never pound her or be rough with her. I have read posts on other forums where guys complain that they are too big and they lose girlfriends because it hurts. My wife's 8 inch boyfriend told her that he had hurt girlfriends before her and I doubt that all of them had a tipped uterus. She doesn't remember how thick he was and never measured him, but she thinks that he was about 8 inches and he was the thickest that ever got in. She says that he was a relatively good lover and took the time to get her aroused, but it would still hurt for a while during intercourse. After the first couple of minutes then it would feel good. He did always have to be careful not to go in too deep though.
My wife had surgery several months ago and I had to be very careful when the doctor gave us the go ahead for sex again. I only went in about half way for the first 8 or 10 times and it was very enjoyable for me. This is the first time that I had to be careful and I could stand to always have sex this way if necessary. While it is fun for both of us to get rough occasionally, sometimes we just have to be satisfied being careful. You might find that you can do more with him once you lose the fear of being hurt if he is gentle for a dozen or so times. You might discover that you can take all of him or at least allow him to go in up past your cervix.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (30 June 2009):
It seems you have several problems. You're not anorgasmic, since you do find pleasure in using a vibrator.The first problem is that you are not having orgasms. Having one is not a mechanical experience. There's excellent advice on this regard in the Articles you will find in this site. Do a little search and you'll see. One is titled "Advice to young men about young women" or something; the name escapes me now.I also wonder about the quality of the oral sex. Just licking the vagina is not supposed to give you an orgasm. This is something only you can know. Maybe it would be fun if you two approached this as some kind of science project and started checking what works and what doesn't.I am not sure whether he lasts only five minutes because you're unusually tight. There's no way I can verify this, of course. I assume your boyfriend is about your same age, so he may have some trouble of his own lasting longer.I think some extra lubrication could help you here. Also, you could try lovemaking positions that will sort of "open" your vagina, as opposed to those that keep it "closed".I do believe that the pain he is causing you has a lot to do with your not having an orgasm. It is difficult to have an orgasm if you know that something is going to hurt.Try being on top, so you can control the degree, the speed and the force of the penetration. Use lots of lubricant as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): A tight vagina is a tight vagina. You can try to just relax but if your guy is as big and thick as you say it probably won't make much difference. Your vagina will become, less tight with time, through more, maybe excessive sex and or after having babies. Funny, many women wish they could be tighter down their themselves. You sound like you have what many men want, a nice tight vagina. But the problem will always be your boyfriend. You might become less tight but he will always be a big guy and will still cause you pain as he penetrates your vagina. You need to tell him to pace himself and go at it with ease until you become more comfortable with his large member. Or, you will need to simply become accustomed and immune to the pain you will feel when having sex with him.Funny though, everywhere you go you will see or read that "Bigger is Better". But if you ask real women if this is true, you will find that most will complain that larger is not better but painful and so sex is not as enjoyable. From what I understand a woman would prefer something around the size of 6 to 7 inches. A tighter vagina does feel so much better for the guy as the feeling is more intense therefore causing the guy to want to cum a lot faster. I am sure he enjoys sex with you. I feel sorry for you though. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, thehype  +, writes (30 June 2009):
Lube
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