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How can I make my mother see he's changed?

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Question - (18 June 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2016)
A female Singapore age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm in need of some advices )':

I have a boyfriend of 2 years and at the start he was treating me quite badly but slowly he changed and is the perfect boyfriend for me now. He loves me, he respects me and he dotes on me. He accepts my flaw, my PMS and loves me for who I am. All my close friends could see how much he love me and everyone said that he had, indeed changed for the better.

However when we were still classmates three years ago, I invited him and a few friends over to my house to study. He was impolite to my mom and my mom hates him ever since then. I guess he was just plain immature at the age of 17 but there goes that important "first impression".

My mom was furious to know that I'm attached with him and demands me to break up with my boyfriend. She hates the thought of him and detest him. She told me very clearly that he will disapprove of him and do not even want to see him.

From my mom's point of view, I understand how she feel. If I was her, I would hate my boyfriend too. But, he really did changed and become a lot a lot better. Even he himself felt that he changed a lot because of me.

Everyone, how do I convinced my mom that my boyfriend has changed? She is very stubborn and insist on her opinion. I on the other hand really loves my boyfriend and do not want to break up with him because of this.

What should I do?

Sincerely,

A girl who needs lots of advices

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 June 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntGet your boyfriend to write your mum a letter to say how sorry he is for his past actions and that he has growing up a lot since then, ask him to write down why he likes you and then give the letter to your mum. Explain to her that you understand why she is upset but that you really like this boy and it will be much easier for you if she just gives him a chance.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (18 June 2016):

Here’s what I think you should do: tell your boyfriend honestly that your mother does not approve of him. Ask him if he would be willing to apologise for his past rudeness, acknowledge it was wrong and ask her for a fresh start. Then tell your mother that he has changed, that you are very happy with him and that he is willing to make amends if she will hear him out. Tell her he is prepared to apologise. If she refuses, she is then being unfair to you as you’re entitled to make your own choices. If you live under her roof, she can say who can and who can’t come round but she can’t stop you seeing him elsewhere. You need to let her know that you understand how she feels and you disapprove too of how your boyfriend treated her before: a bit of good will and forgiveness is needed from everyone here.

I wish you all the very best.

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