A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend smokes weed and he lies to me that he doesnt. I know he loves me a lot and will never ditch me, but my parents wont accept him, if he doesnt quit weed. He knows that too but he just doesn't quit it. He wants to marry me but i can't go against my parents's will. How to make him quit weed ?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 June 2017):
 You can't make him quit. He needs to want to do it for himself. He may love you, but he loves weed more. He is prepared to lie to you in order to keep smoking it. I think you need to make a choice, either be with him or not, but if you are going to stay with him you need to be prepared that he will not give up the weed and will probably continue to lie to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2017): You need some lessons on feminism. Are you one of those girls who thinks that it's a girl's job to make a guy quit smoking/weed etc.? Are you taking pride in dating a bad guy who you wish will change 'just for you'? I'm sorry but that's a very old, ancient bollywood fantasy.You are with a loser. and there's no way in the world you can turn him into a smart guy. You are living in a delusion. If you stay with this guy, over time you'll end up becoming a loser yourself. Don't compromise on your own values and principles. Who are you to change him? He is a result of his upbringing and beliefs, which is clearly very different from yours. To top it all he even lies to you about it! He probably recognizes your naivety and immaturity and is making use of it. What else could he be lying about? Have you ever thought! Are you sure he's loyal to you? You don't have basic things matching between the two of you and you're thinking of marriage? At your age you might think any man and woman who can make love can get married. You are gravely mistaken. There's something known as match. If the way you think, feel and behave, your values and beliefs are different from his, you'll end up being hurt all the time. Imagine if you were with a guy of a similar principles and values as you. You will be happy with that person. Neither of you have to change and you have a reason other than physical attraction to truly LIKE each other. It might be fascinating to you that he's a stud, a bad guy because you are still young. When you grow older you'll find him to be lame and understand how insecure he is within. You'd rather be attracted to a gentleman then. As a kid you'd be easily impressed by adults and adult-like stuff. The transitioning you wants to hold on to such company so you'd feel like a grown up. The day you stop trying to show how adult you are and start worrying about growing older. Yes, that is when you should take a call on whom you'll marry.I know that was harsh, but beating around the bush will give you too much time to drift back into your fantasy world.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 June 2017):
 You know who he is and don't like it, so you have to leave. He won't change and you can't make him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2017): You can't make him quit. He needs to want to do it on his own. He has shown you now that weed is more important to him than you are. You need to accept this and stop giving him of your time and love. He will never quit weed for you. If he would, if he truly wanted to marry you and have a life with you, he would have quit it. But he does not. I think he is addicted, and once you are an addict to drugs you will be an addict for the rest of your life. Doesn't even matter if you stop, because you will always be at high risk of falling back into it. So, either he has been smoking so much weed that he is already addicted and unable to stop, or, he doesn't love you as much as you think and doesn't want to quit for your sake. In either case, you should accept that he will not quit and end things with him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2017): "How to make him quit weed ?"
You can't "make him" do anything he doesn't want to do.
If you're parents won't accept him and you can't go against your parents wishes, then your only option is to break up with him and find someone whom your parents will accept.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 June 2017):
 Say to him; " It's either weed or me, make a choice!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2017): Leave him. You don't have a right to change him.
If he doesn't want to change, you have to move on.
Don't go through life thinking you can make people be the person that you want them to be. That's not up to you.
It's time that you learn when you've chosen the wrong guy.
Your match is someone you find who meets your needs, and you don't have to change a thing about them. They want to be with you, as much as you want to be with them. They don't want to change you, because they love you just the way you are.
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