A
female
age
30-35,
*blondie1826
writes:Well after I did not contact my boyfriend for about 20 hrs he called me telling me he's been working and apologized for not responding. He now works 2pm-10pm. I texted him around 11 pm that night to say goodnight, no response. I called him this morning no response. I had my friend call him, no response. His brother called him no response. He's not answering for anyone and Idk why. We made plans to see each other Sunday, hopefully he keeps them. But I left him a message telling him that we need to talk and that he can tell me if something is wrong and that I love him and want us to work. Still no response I called him around 11am and it is now 1:30. What the problem is, is that he doesn't answer me anymore and I don't want it to stay like this because it really bothers me. He use to answer me all the time. I understand at work he cannot respond but he works 8 hrs not 24. Anyone else of situations like this? How can I get him to listen and actually contact me during the times he's off work. How can I make him understand I need him to keep in touch. I've discussed with him before that I am insecure and I need to be reminded daily that he still cares for me. When we talked yesterday I told him I thought he was breaking up with me and he told me no. And I asked if he wanted to see me Sunday and he said yes. So Idk what's wrong. Cause it seems like he still is interested in being with me but why is he acting so distant. Why won't he answer for his friends, family, or me? If anyone has advice I would greatly appreciate it. I really love him and it's taking all my will not to constantly try to contact him. My mom told me to let him be and he'll tell me what's wrong when he's ready but I'm worried what's wrong could also effect me emotionally. I'm really torn and confused and my other relationships ended right after they started contacting me less and no answering my calls or texts.Thank You!
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male
reader, ziad  +, writes (24 September 2010):
no need to take it in this way he might had a lot of work and he is sleeping :) and he told you he will see you means you can discuss everything the Sunday, or maybe he heard something bad about you and wants to dump you but i don't think so, its just that he is tired :)
A
female
reader, lungalele  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Hei dear, I know what u feel, men do not see things the way we see them,to call and tell out their love to us on daily basis is what we will never get. U are nt the only one. Don't worry its nt like he doesn't answer yours only. So definetely sth is really happening. But remember it can not always be abt u. Try to be strong have pride, stop talking abt it too much. He will do what u need in no time. wish u all da best
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Well first off its not just you that his not contacting or responding to, its everyone so his not just personally ignoring you.
I can only imagine how hard it must be to not be able to contact him maybe when you do see him on sunday you should sit him down and tell him how it makes you feel.
He could be having some personal problems you dont know about at the moment? You said he just started this new job, could he be stressed with it?
Best talk to him when you see him and really findout whats wrong it may be nothing to do with you at all .
Goodluck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): I’m in the same boat with you, I actually went and saw someone professionally as it’s not healthy behavior on my part. It’s obsession. I understand it. It’s hard NOT to obsess with someone we’re so infatuated with. You want to be so close to them it feels like you’re wearing their skin as a leotard with nipples. For me, I hate even a second going by without speaking to my significant other. It’s all I can take to not bomb his phone with texts and calls.You mentioned that you’re insecure and need to hear from him daily how much he cares for you. That’s an issue that you might want to address before progressing the relationship. You’ll always be on edge and wondering what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, what he’s not thinking… that will always be there unless you develop more rational thoughts about yourself. It’s easy to assume that we’re being played and being cheated on because we don’t hear from our boyfriends however often… it’s not easy to keep those feelings under wrap when we obsess too much. Him not texting or calling you back immediately doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for you. If anything, he might need some space at this point. He might be so smothered that he needs to just be for a while. It’s hard to hear, it’s even harder to do. But he has a life outside of you. He has a job, he has friends… family… obligations. A healthy relationship requires space sometimes to think and assess things.My advice… find something to keep you busy and build up more self-esteem so you’re okay without him. I get that you don’t want to be without him, probably ever lol, but get to a point where you’re OKAY with it. For me, I took up exercise and bird-watching. I hate birds. But it keeps my busy, it keeps my mind off obsessing over the man I love and it’s keeping our relationship balanced with equal space and respect for that space. Let him know that it bothers you when he ignores you, and ask about whatever issue he has that’s going on. If he’s taking a few days… it could be that something serious is going on in his life and he doesn’t want to talk, he would rather push you away… or just a simple space issue. Don’t assume he wants to leave you or doesn’t care about you. Openly discuss it with him and reach common ground on how much communication the both of you need. If something IS amiss with him… let him know that you’re there for him, and when he’s ready to talk, to give you a call. Be as sweet and sincere as possible and he’ll come to realize that you’re there for him.
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