A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfrien for 3 years now...he says he wants to het married but has not made a commitment... how do i make him commit to marrieage... i'm almost in my mid 30's and he's 6 years younger than me.... please help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): I totally agree with sheriboo. He will be ready when he is ready. Pushing him into it will either make him be distant, leave you or go along with it and possibly regret it. Either leave and start over or wait until he is ready, assuming he will be at some time.
My wife left her first husband when she was 30. My wife left me 3 years later. My current wife and I started dating a few months later. In a couple of years she was ready for marriage, but I wasn't ready at all. She waited until I was, which was just over 6 years. We have been married for 23 years now. I think she mentioned marriage to me once or twice in those 6 years. We did decide to live together after dating for 4 years.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 July 2009):
Tell him you went past a bridal shop the other day and were thinking how amazing it would be to get married.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that you are ready for that commitment now.
Then change the subject.
But point out rings in jewellery shops you like so he has an idea. Don't nag or make it too obvious. Just point out the kinds of ring you like.
Then set yourself a deadline.
If he hasn't asked you by Christmas, then straight after new year tell him you want to find a man to marry and settle with and since he clearly isn't ready for that, then you are leaving.
And go.
He may come after you when he realises what he's lost. But if not then you are ready to find someone who's at a point where they can settle down.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, sheriboo +, writes (30 July 2009):
You can only control your own actions, not his. He is obviously not as ready for marriage, as let's say, a 30 something y/o woman. Wait it out patiently or leave. You wouldn't want anyone to make such an important decision unless it was their idea, would you? If it's that important and you start thinking that he is making excuses as to why it never happens, leave him & move on. If getting married is your goal, move on to where you will have a chance of that actually happening. Don't waste year after year waiting.
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