A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 1 year, and things have been going really well. The only thing that we fight about is sex. She is not a sexual person, she told me this. We started off dating having sex frequently, but then stopped for 5 months, and now recently we started having sex more often. I always feel bad when we do because I feel that she is doing it because of me and not for herself, even though she says she enjoys it and everything. I just want her to want to have sex with me and I do not and will not pressure her just dont know how to handle this. Any hints? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): I wouldn't stop having sex for a while as suggested as you've already tried that (for five months!) and chances are if you stop she will be pleased and you just won't have sex any more.There comes a time when you have to assess this. Can you happily be with someone who will never lust after you, and never be filled with passion?You sound like you'd be a nice guy so I am guessing her disinterest isn't because of something you are doing or not doing but just because she isn't a sexual person (her admission!).
A
female
reader, Appelle +, writes (16 March 2010):
A lot of people get more pleasure from pleasuring others and this my be the case with her. When she is doing it for you it may really be for her. Try thanking her for what she gives you and trust when she tells you she is enjoying herself. She may even be embarrassed for wanting to have sex with you. In which case Talking about it might help, but try not to push talking too much because that could make her more embarrassed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): Sex is far more about emotions for women. You need to stop thinking about sex as just the act of physically being together and learn to satisfy her emotional needs. When she has a deep, emotional connection with you, she will want to have sex with you all the time. Build a connection to her by understanding her, listening, getting to know who she really is on a level that nobody else does. Be a strong, confident leader and man in her life and the (amazing) sex that follows will all come naturally.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 i have the same situation with my boyfriend had alot of sex at the beginning of the relationship and now it has slowed down but i put it down to me being pregnant but i feel the same way your girlfriend seems to feel.with me i feel like im expecting my boyfriend to try and have sex with me all the time which is kinda off putting i dont want to have to expect it id just like it to happen rather than thinking oh his gonna try it if you know what i mean maybe it is the same for your girlfriend.id say back off from sex for a little while and she might wonder why and if you dont show so much interest in it then it might make her want it more also let it just flow into sex when it does happen.id say kiss her passionately and then leave her alone for a little while and see if she reacts to it if you act uninterested in having sex then shel want it more i think.
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