A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi any help you could give would be greatim 26 and have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. this was both of our first lesbian relationship and we kept it secret for over a year because we wanted to be sure about each other before telling anyone. Anyway, we told our family and friends about our relationship about 7 months ago and life has literally been hell since then. my family were all incredibly supportive and said they are really happy for us. but my girlfriend's family completely disowned her. her parents have written her out of their will and have said they are ashamed of her. They say that its all my fault for confusing her and leading her astray. now i feel really guilty because i know how much she loves her parents and i feel as though its all my fault that their family is at war. i love her with all my heart, we live together and we were talking about marriage before all this trouble started. but the war with her family is making her miserable. her family said that they will accept her back into the family if she finishes with me. she said she will never do this because she loves me and wants to be with me forever. but there have been times when i have thought i should let her go because this war is making her miserable-but i cant.how can i make her happy? i dont want her to regret choosing me over her family. i feel guilty that i have put her in the position where she has had to choose. should i put my feelings to one side and go away so that her family will accept her back? i cant imagine losing my family and i dont want her to have to because of me. i love her so much, i just dont know what to do anymore.please give me some advice
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (26 February 2010):
 hi, well to start with it is not you who has made her choose anything!it is her familt that have been the unreasonable and unfair people, you have nothing but try to support your girlfriend and this shows as she is clearly not willing to give you up.
Her parents may need some time to see that they will not be able to bully her into doing as they wish and realise that they have to accept her as she is, but there is nothing to say that this will happen and if it does not the best thing you can do us support her through whatever happens and show her love.
leaving her is not the answer as you are not the problem their small mindedness is and if it had not of been you it would only have been somebody else.
good luck and please tell me how this works out. =] x
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