A
female
age
30-35,
*amagedone
writes:My girlfriend and I have been together for close to 4 years. She recently broke up with me. She says she always feels trapped and "obligated" to talk to me. She's broken up with me in the past (about 3times). Everytime she does she says she "needs space and room to breathe". I'm so confused. she will break up with me but continue to call me and call me "hunny" and say she loves me.. We only get REALLY sexual with eachother when we're NOT together.. She says she loves me and she doesn't want to lose me but she just can't be in a relationship.. We're not together now and of course she felt "trapped".. What do I do to make her feel "lucky" NOT "trapped".. I'm so lost and so in love.. I feel pathetic for not leaving.. I'm addicted to her.. Someone please help me.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 July 2010):
You do need to cut contact, and you can do it. :). You really need to. You know what will happen if you don't. She'll come back, you'll let her in, then in a year, she'll end it again. That's how this is going to play.
A
female
reader, damagedone +, writes (17 July 2010):
damagedone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right.. And when I finally get over her she will regret letting me go, come crawling back and I'm scared I will let her back in. I hate that I love her so damn much and she takes it for granted.. Should I leave her alone for a month or two? Just to see if she REALLY wants to be single.
As much as I want to, I just can't cut her out completely.. I mean she was with me since I was old enough to date.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 July 2010):
You can cut her any time you like. I think you're choosing not to because you think she will change. Well, she won't. And the longer you continue with her, the more you waste your own life. Call her, tell her that it's over and you never want to hear from her again, then block her out of your life.
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A
female
reader, damagedone +, writes (17 July 2010):
damagedone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI always try to do that and I always tell myself NO MORE but then she knows exactly what to say to make me come back. Its sucks cause I know what she's doing but I can't help it. I want to cut her out but then she reminds me why I kept her around so long..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 July 2010):
This isn't your problem. This is hers. She's not ready for a relationship in any way. You're more like the safe bet. When she feels lonely and vulnerable, she'll always come to you. But when she's in too far, she'll go away again. This is now the fourth time that she has broken up with you. On average, that means that once a year, she just hurts you. you're not pathetic, but you are torturing yourself with this woman. I'd suggest the time has come for you to cut contact with her and really make an effort to move on. You don't want to be the person aged 40, suddenly realizing you've wasted your entire life on a woman who just hurts you.
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