A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I was just wondering how a woman would like a man to conduct himself around her in the work place after he has made an approach and been rejected. He was not in the friend-zone at the time he made his approach and does not have very regular business contact. Should he try to become her friend or will she see through this. Should he effectively say his goodbyes and keep future contact with her strictly to a minimum in order to do the job in hand? The man in question likes her very much and the rejection hurts like hell (evidently a crush which developed over a period of 3 years). I guess my question is how do I maintain my dignity and not lose her respect for me in the work place after my knock back? Thanks for your help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Hey Man, I feel your pain and I have been there, god damn but people wonder why men have big egos, if we didnt wed never get over all the rejection.First of fair play to you for having the stones to approach her. Now the facts, You like her, You told her and for whatever reason she isnt up for it, if it is in a work setting she may not want to mix work an pleasure and that is both professional and cool.How to react, Be yourself my man, ultimately yu dont want her to think your trying to win her over by being her friend because in my opinion that does not work. You dont want to ignore her because at that point she will think you were never really interested in her but just in a quick fling. Forget about it for a while and then be yourself around her, trust me in a short space of time you will be fine,The very best of luck with it,Oh yeah pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get back out there, plenty more fish in the sea and by the sounds of it your a genune nice guy so eventually someone else will see that, Hope this helps.Elpigaro
A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 I have had this happen to me twice in my career. Both times although I did not want to go out with the man I was enormously flattered by his approach and it made me have kind and helpful thoughts about them. Both times I later had the opportunity to help them business wise and I did. I think if you can go down the friends route it is a good idea. One of the chaps said to me that he was sorry that he had approached me in that manner and that he understood that I didn't feel the same way but could we be friends as we worked together as he didn't want an atmosphere in the workplace. I was impressed that he had the guts to deal with this issue and I was always normal and pleasant with him. The other chap was too embarrassed to even come near me or look at me again and that was a shame but after a few years we got along on a business level.
You have lost no dignity or self respect by approaching her. You made the move, it wasn't what she wanted at that moment in time and that is all there is to it. Who is to say that her feelings won't change in the future. Women always like to know someone is interested in them and they will think about it. I would act naturally when you are with her, do your job and behave just as you were before. If you create no barriers or atmosphere it will quickly slide back into a working relationship. Probably the less interested you are about her the more that it will picque her interest, contrary creatures as us women are.
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