A
female
age
41-50,
*akemethere
writes:After eight years, my g/f and I decided to have a open relationship with others on the internet because she said she was having problems with being faithfully..not cheating on me just liking on getting to know other people. I was having problems with this even though I didn't want to lose her so I agreed. She was talking to several people and I asked her one day what if we meet someone else and her response was then we were not meant to be. This tore my heart in two and in my stupidity...I met someone in and in less than a week this person had fallen in love with me which is crazy in itself and wanted to meet. But with my anger for the hurt I was feeling I told her I would meet her. Well, my g/f found out and told me to take my stuff and leave. I left with my heart broken and missing her more than ever. We have been talking on the phone and decided to get back together cause I told her I wasn't in love with that other girl but wanted her to know how much it hurt me to see her talk to others on the internet. Well, I moved back to be with her. After about a week of being there she told me she didn't feel what I feel when we kiss and thought that we needed not to be together cause there is no spark anymore. So, I decided to move back to where I was living which is about 700 miles away. And I miss her more than ever. We still text and talk on the phone and we love each other. There is not a day that goes by that I do not break down and cry. She tells me that she crys too. She said that she is not looking for anyone but working on herself first and how to love herself. Which I understand. I don't want to be with anyone else and know in my heart that she is my soulmate, my best friend, and the love of my life. I don't want to lose her as my partner.Is there anything that I can do to bring the spark back or is this something that she is going to have to find on her own?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (23 July 2009):
An 8 year lesbain relationship... well you made it 1 year passed the dreaded LBD (Lesbian Bed Death)... but not by much... You need to give this some time and let her work through her issues, and you do the same. Personally, this is the major shortcoming that I see in not allowing same sex marriage (if you would have married), in that after 8 years, you can simply walk away... if you were joined legally maybe the exit wouldn't be so quick and you'd WORK on your realationship...If you each decide that you're capable of being in relatioship, you can then decide if it's with each other... if it can be I'd suggest getting invovled with some women's type couple's reteat where you can work on the issues that are keeping you where you are (were). Explore what attracted you two to each other, and what love about the other person... put in the work! Now, I'd suggest that the "open" part of the relatioship be closed, as it's too easy to allow this to mess up your relationship. Gay women (from my experience) are QUICK to jump into a "relationship"... 2 dates and you're living together... not a good thing to date outside your primary relationship with that kind of stuff going on...
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (22 July 2009):
 You need to give this up....living for realationships on the internet is pure fantasy.
You opened a can of worms by meeting someone from the net who told you they were in love with you after how long? A week? Give me a break.
You are living in internet fantasy air. Get out of your house and meet someone in real life in your area.
If this GF of yours is your soulmate, then why was she having these internet flirt sessions?
She has obviously moved on...so should you.
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