A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry guys, this is a long one lol. So I have been with my fiance now since we were fourteen( i am now 21). He is amazing and I cant describe how much I love him. I am getting married next july and we are expecting our first child together. We couldnt be happier and he will make a brilliant father. But guilt is eating me up about something that happend a year ago and it is spoiling what should be the happiest time of my life. Being with my fiance so young I never really got to experience being carefree and adventurous and I didnt have any party days. Last year when I was coming 20, I made new friends at college and they invited me to a house party. I didnt know anybody there, and it was really the first chance I had since meeting my fiance to drink and party. It happened to come at a time where my relationship was rocky, my fiance was taking me for granted and rarely wanted to spend time with me. So, anyway, I went along, and everyone was drinking dancing and having a good time. I didnt know anyone there, and a guy there started talking to me. He was just talking about work, college etc, nothing bad at first. I was just glad someone was speaking to me as I felt really awkward as nobody else made a real effort to include me. As we got drunker, he started complimenting me. I was enjoying this, as I didnt get this sort of attention anymore. I drunkenly slurred nonsense about how that was nice to hear as my fiance doesnt give me attention etc, and the guy was saying how he should realise how lucky he was to have me. He asked if I wasn't with my boyfriend, would I be with him? And what does the idiot who cant handle confrontation and doesnt want to hurt feelings say? I shamefully said yes. I didnt mean it. I wasnt even attracted to him at all, I was just enjoying attention. I know its so wrong to let someone think you like them when all you want is attention, and I felt awful. So i quickly said but im not single, I AM with my boyfriend. And im not cheating on him. He said he understood. But, later on, we were all off our heads, yet I can remember everything. I was so drunk I saw a hand on my shoulder, and the guy hand his arm round me! And I was so drunk I didnt even realise. He kept asking if id kiss him, and I slurred something stupid like, I would if i was single but I cant. He leaned in to kiss me, saying you know you want to, and I was so drunk i didnt even react at first i just kind of sat there stunned, and then backed away and said no, I cant cheat on my fiance. He said I may as well have cheated because I said Id date him if i was single. I then said no again and went home. Its a wonder I got there safely, I was so off my face. I felt so guilty I spilled everything to my fiance, and swore Id never put myself in a sitiation like that again. He forgave me, but I am still wracked with guilt. I know I need to move on, maybe its hormones making me think about this again, but the guilt is eating me up. my fiance and I are great now, but when I look at him, I feel pangs of guilt about how close I came to hurting him. I told him everything the day after, but I am being irrational because I almost feel like i need to admit to cheating, which is mad because I didnt. how can I let go of this guilt so that I dont ruin my relationship over something that didnt happen?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2015): I totally agree with Mrspiggy, you did nothing wrong.
Speak to your fiancé about it again and explain how you're feeling.
It sounds like you have a great relationship, look after it, and all the best to you both and your new baby :-)
A
female
reader, mrspiggy +, writes (23 May 2015):
 Sweety, you did nothing wrong. Nothing actually happened, and you told your fiance right away. He Forgave you, in fact, it was probably the kick in the pants he needed to realise that he could easily lose you if he didn't treat you right.
Forgive yourself and enjoy this wonderful time in your life.
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