A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My problem is that I am way too sensitive and submissive. when I love someone, I am ready to do the world for him. Sometimes even when not asked for help. Then I end up getting hurt because the only reaction to my selfless devotion is insults, abuses and a lot of hurt that I can do without. the more kind and helpful I am, the more abusive this fellow gets. I am sick of this and want to call it quits. I don't want to talk to him any more (I am sure he would not give a hoot if I do so.) Unfortunately I will end up getting hurt like always. I know I need to get out of this and soon but how? it's really hurting here. help please and suggest ways I can get out of this without being terribly hurt. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Well how badly hurt you get is really up to you. If you convince yourself that it is NOT the end of the world and that you don't care that much and that you will be better off without him, then the break up will be alot easier for you.
But if you leave him thinking that your life will be over and that you are NOTHING without him, then it is going to be very painful and difficult.
It is up to you really. I mean I know that it is not the end of the world. But you are having a tough time coming to terms with that. So, most of the drama that you are feeling you are creating yourself. You are making a HUGE deal out of something that in the long run, will be of minor significance in your life.
If only you could realise that NOW, you could move on pain free and you could BE HAPPY. Just remember that YOU are creating this. Nobody else. So you can stop it. You have control of your own life and your own emotions. So if you choose to be happy, you will be. And if you choose to think that this is going to be the end of the world, then it will definitely feel like the end of the world.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Just tell him that you are not happy and that life is too short and you want to move on. You dont have to stay with someone just because that is the thing to do. If you feel this way then be strong and let him know exactly how it is and how you want it to be. You have a right to your say and your freedom. But you cannot do it without talking.
take care
xx
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