A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So recently, I've gotten into a relationship with the woman of my dreams. She's my best friend, we've known each other for two years, shared ups and downs, been to the ringer and back and now things are amazing. We've also gotten physical a few times, but the problem is I've been a little too excited and I couldn't last. I have some ideas as to what I can do to prepare myself for next time (maybe getting a little tipsy will help, or having a strategy prepared), but does anyone else have ideas? I'm moving 12 hours away for a job in a month and I really want next time to be a night she'll want to remember.
View related questions:
best friend, last longer Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 August 2016):
You're in your 20s. You should be able to go again in 20 minutes. Im 48 and can go again in an hour, so you should have no problem.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (5 August 2016):
 Give her a massage with some French Lavender oil or similar. Before you get to actual sex, work her up to it. Have a shower together and rub your hands all over her, but no sex, then give her a massage with the oil and place a couple of scented candles around. Get her to a point of relaxation, then start kissing her all over and tracing your fingers down her sides and spine. *Then* start the kissing and more sexual touching, but take if *very* slowly.
To make this a "night to remember", you need to focus on *all* of her before moving on to anything sexual and then focusing on her before getting to full on sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 August 2016):
 You sound like a lovely young man, who is hoping to make sure his new girlfriend enjoys herself as much as he does. That's great. That's a wonderful thing.
So the thing to keep in mind is that your sexual response and hers are going to be different. You have different parts and different wiring.
My suggestion would be that you make sure that you've masturbated before seeing her, that way the edge is off, so to speak. The other thing to keep in mind is that for the majority of women, sexual intercourse doesn't lead to an orgasm.
Think of it this way, your sexual center is your penis, and I believe a lot of men make the mistake of assuming that the vagina is the sexual center for the woman. Because the vagina of course is the inside out part of the woman that accommodates the penis. So here's the thing, in the womb, the same cells that make up the penis in a male, in a female fetus become the clitoris, not the vagina.
So if you want to make this a really fabulous night for your girlfriend, which is a lovely and enchanting idea, remember that just because you've had an orgasm doesn't mean that the night is over. A young man in his 20s should have a refractory period short enough to allow another "go" in the same evening.
Instead of putting the focus of the evening on penis in vagina sexual intercourse, I would instead put the focus on her and her sexual response. That means using your fingers, your tongue, your mouth, your penis, whatever body parts seem to make her body parts happy.
Another thing to remember is that in women, the erogenous zones can be almost anywhere on the body. Men assume that it's about the breasts and the vagina, the clitoris and perhaps the anus. However our bodies are rich in nerve endings, there's toes, fingers, the back, the small of her back, her legs, her arms, her wrists l, her scalp, the nape of her neck, her ears and earlobes, basically her entire body could be an exquisite erogenous zone.
So take the focus off your penis and what it does for you, and think instead about all the various, exciting, wonderful ways you can make her experience pleasure. In a word, think outside the box. Pun intended.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 August 2016):
 PS: just because you get off prematurely, doesn't mean the game is over. You can keep playing. As I said, just go down on her or use your hands. Trust me.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (2 August 2016):
Everything doesn't have to be about the penis. Men forget that a lot. So involve your hands and your mouth. Get her off that way multiple times before you even think about getting to the main course.
Women predominantly get off externally so focus on that for as long as possible. She will thank you.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2016): One obvious strategy is to masturbate shortly before you have that "night to remember". This will make it so that it takes longer for you to ejaculate when you are making love to her.
Simple solution.
And if for some reason that doesn't slow you down, then just masturbate twice.
...............................
A
female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (1 August 2016):
 Hey lovie,thought I could add a little female perspective to this one. The previous agony aunt offered some fantastic practical advice but I am hoping I can ease your mind a little, hopefully letting you avoid the Viagra. First thing is most females do so orgasm from penetrative sex. The best solution I can offer is don't forget foreplay. When it's new, it's all too easy to jump straight to the finale without actually watching the show. For females, a lot of the nerve endings are in the clitoris. For lack of a better phrase, think of it as the 'on' button. If you can make her organism beforehand she will probably be a happy bunny. Not only will it take the pressure off you a little, but it also leaves her satisfied as well. However, there are loads of things you can do, really building up to the big event will definitely give her a night to remember.However, honestly, I don't think she will care too much. You are in a wonderful new relationship, don't let your insecurities get in the way. Just enjoy the intimacy and that lovely honeymoon phase will you can. Over time it definitely gets better, as the old saying goes practise makes perfect!Normally I wish people the best of luck but don't know how fitting that would be for this one. So lets go with, have fun! xox
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 August 2016):
 Sometimes you just have to laugh it off. However if you come first, make sure she is satisfied too, in whatever way you feel appropriate.
Having a full bladder can stop you coming. And I have heard of blokes reliving their favourite football game in their heads just to take their minds off things. Personally that seems like you are missing the intimacy, but that's up to you.
Finally if you get some Viagra that will keep you hard for hours so even if you do come first you can still keep going.
But once you and your partner get used to each other you will be able to time things better. Make sure your partner is really turned on before you begin penetration. Hopefully it will help with your togetherness.
...............................
|
