A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know what I want, I've been in and out of relationships for years and I know that this time what I'm feeling is real, I didn't want to have feelings for this guy but I did. The problem is I'm worried his feelings aren't real. I'm his first real relationship and I don't even think he was interested in me until he knew that I had feelings for him. How can I know for sure that I'm not just going to get repeatedly hurt by this guy because his feelings aren't as real as he thinks? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 April 2013):
 you can't know but I will tell you I asked once if Love brings the other person to love you...
to this day I do not know which one of us loved first me or my hubby.... he says it's me but I think it was him...
the only thing you can do is take it slow and let it build and see where it goes
and if he says "i don't love you" listen to his words.
if he says "I love you" listen to his actions...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): Okay completely forget everything I said in my last post, I read your question wrong. Sorry about that. I read it that you were on/off with this guy for years. The answer is just as simple though. You can't know for sure, none of us never know for sure OP. Relationships are always a risk, but they're a risk worth taking. Only time will tell what will happen, just give it your best and hopefully things will work out. That's all any of us ever do.
Don't let the fear of being hurt hold you back or spoil this OP. Just go with the flow and enjoy your time with him, it may not last, he may end up being your future husband, who knows?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): "How can I know for sure that I'm not just going to get repeatedly hurt by this guy because his feelings aren't as real as he thinks?"
You can't because I can tell you for sure that you are going to be repeatedly hurt by this guy. 100% sure in fact. How? Simple:
"I've been in and out of relationships for years."
You've never been able to make it work, you're not going to be able to make it work this time either.
It's rather simple OP, when two people get on, when they love each other and when their relationship works it's never on/off, the relationship is solid.
You've never had that with this guy, and you just hope this time will be different, but you history says it won't.
Of course all that is irrelevant, you're still going to keep trying with this guy and it's going to take a long time before you're able to let go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2013): Short answer: With your approach, you don't!
How can you be so sure that you know everything and he knows nothing? You can assume this is true but it is not a guarantee that it is.
If you go into a relationship with these types of reservations, it will be very taxing on you and the relationship.
Take a deep breath and let the relationship flow. If things pop up along the way that bother you, then address them immediately without letting them fester. This way you will progress to a more serious relationship.
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