A
female
age
41-50,
*eedygf
writes:I always have low self esteem. When I look around, most of the guys that I like or admire have girlfriends that I can never live up to. Some of the girls are air stewardess, some are even models. I am recently single and after a long struggle finally met someone I like (but I have to admit that it's because he looks a lot like my ex), and turns out his girlfriend is a print ad model has her own blog shop, and is constantly on magazine. She also has a perfect happy family, while my mum cheated all my money and ran away ten years ago. I mean, how can i ever get a boyfriend in this world. Who will like dark cloud when there's sunshine on the other side.My low self esteem has tortured me for years, and it always bring out the insecurity in me and ruin my relationship. At the beginning of my relationships, I'll be fine because I only date those guys which I think I can "manage". But when I start to fall deeper, I will start to feel out of control and panic that they will eventually leave me for someone who's prettier, younger or smarter.I constantly have the feeling that I'm no good for anyone. And no one will like such a weak, depressed and useless girl.
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female
reader, Wyeldfire  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 Greetings!
You state that you "always have low self esteem". If this is an ongoing pattern (and it looks severe from the way you describe yourself), it's time to bring in the heavy weights to help and go a lot more than skin deep.
Therapy can be a tremendous help for a lot of people, with the right therapist. It takes time and hard work - real work on one's self is not for the fainthearted. Licensed social workers and psychologists are the biggest providers. If you need help finding one, you can ask friends you trust to keep your confidence for recommendations or go to the equivalent of your "employee assistance program" at work to test drive the therapy idea and get referrals. There are also therapists who work online via chat and video.
Barring traditional therapy, you can also find support groups online via forums, groups like those on Yahoo! and 12-Step online/in-person meetings that will put you in touch with others who have improved on the same issues you're having.
Finally, there are decent books out there that you can study in the privacy of your own home, along with websites that can walk you through entire programs to improve your thinking and coping skills - like here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem
and here:
http://psychology.about.com/od/PositivePsychology/a/how-to-become-a-positive-thinker.htm
All the best!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012): Hi there! Funny, when i read your question, I could really relate..Back in 2009 when i was still active in Events, I used to do public speaking about self confidence.Its been 3 years, my profession right now is totally diff'rent back then, but i can still remember my pep talk way back. My job requires me to deal with diff'rent kinds of people, some of them aspiring models, these wanna be models are not all qualified to become a model.The reason why we have seminar for self confidence, becoz most of them are not ready, so we need to boost their self confidence before they go on stage.To overcome your low self esteem you need to know how to have a healthy self esteem:What you need to do:1. Don't compare yourself to other people. That's a big No. NO.. Sure other girls might be prettier, smarter, richer whatever. But you have your own qualities that no one has.You might not yet aware what talent you got that they don't.Discover it, enhance it, Be Good at it"2. If in the past someone planted a destructive comment on your mind. Time to throw it away, forget it and start to pick Constructive thoughts on your mind which will be helpful for your self advancement.3. Observe your hygiene. Never ever go out without a mouth wash. Oily face, crack lips.. 4. Stand tall.. I mean stand straight, sit up straight, it will give your brain and body a boost and it will create a good impression to others. 5. Shop.. Prettify yourself.. I don't mind giving tips on how to dress up. Not really fancy but something casual but in a cute way. If you need my advice write to me.. I would love to help you...My fashion tips requirements:Your age, your measurement, your height, what outfit makes you comfortable, your job dress accordingly..ok, i hope u learn something.. Good luck..
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