A
male
age
30-35,
*k123
writes:Im 18, Ive been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. We didn't have sex for the first couple of months, then when we did try, it always seemed to go wrong. Interupted, her not being in the mood etc. After so many months we happily had a good relationship including good sex. But we're now argueing on and off, and havent had good sex for nearly 2 months. Every we time we try to, it seems to planned or one of us is not completely committed. We argue because we don't have sex and we don't have sex because we argue. How can i help us get back the spark and good sex life relationship we had before this past month?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): Its not always about the sex. Have you considered that maybe the physical aspect of your relationship is putting a strain on how secure she feels?
She might feel secure with you, but not enough to make her want to enjoy the sex. Sex is something that some people can take lightly - but there are still people who also consider it to be something precious that should be handled with care.
Obviously you need to sit down and have a good talk with her. The "spark" you are talking about isn't something you can force. You're going to have to wait for the right moment or simply acknowledge the fact that maybe there is no spark because you guys simply lack the sexual chemistry required. It should come naturally - don't force it, don't force her either.
All the best! x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011): First don't plan it because planning is usually what ruins it, that happened with me.
Wait till your both free all day, there's no worries; work/family or any other problems with may cause one of your mins to wonder or not completley focus.
Take a shower together, wash eachother so that you're touching eachother all over, it's a big turn on I find, have candles and incese sticks around the room so that you set the mood, take it slowy, don't let it be a big rush and I'm sure it will work out in the end. Good luck xx
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