A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I only had one sexual partner before my husband. Anyways, when I was seventeen, I lost my virginity to a guy I dated for two years. Four months after he and I broke up, I met the man I am now married to (we started dating within a month of our meeting). He didn't believe in pre-marital sex, which was hard to get used to, but eventually, I accepted it. Mainly because I was really after his personality and his looks. The sex thing didn't matter all that much after I saw how wonderful and respectful he was toward me.Well, we were together for two years before we got married. We've now been married for a month and I have to admit, I've been slightly disappointed with the sex. Don't get me wrong, my husband is pretty well-endowed; there's no issue there. It's how he does certain things. How can I help him to help me achieve greater orgasms and also help him to not be so self-conscious about certain things? Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): I've found the best thing to do (tried and tested on my boyfriend of three and a half years) is to simply say "I find it so sexy when you..."; even if he doesn't really do the act you're discussing, he'll be so overjoyed and his ego so pumped up, that it won't even occur to him that it isn't something he does, that he'll focus on doing it again to get the same validation once more. The only way to get what you want is to pretend you have it and make sure there's a whole lot of ego-stroking in between and trust me he'll never, ever notice. Hope this helps - we all deserve a brilliant sex life and if you don't get it, you're only doing yourself and him a disjustice! Good luck.
A
female
reader, Soph.p  +, writes (20 April 2009):
While you are having sex or doing whatever "base" you are doing, direct him and normally he will follow.
You could also buy a book on karma sutra or something like that and give it to him as a humouress present but in normal cases it works to just gently direct him so that he doesnt get self concious. Show him what you like basically.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): you need to gently tell him how he could improve the sex, what you would like him to do, and how you feel about it. if he is well endowed and can keep it up, then he can learn to be better, trust me.
i dated a guy who had trouble keeping it up and it was the most disappointing thing ever, but then we broke up and only saw each other as lovers, and he never had an erection problem again. anyway, my point is, men can be taught and they can improve.
you just need to be very understanding and gentle towards him while you are explaining how he could be better in the sack. men have fragile ego's, especially when it comes to sex so you don't want to upset him and make it worse.
if after you show him and tell him what to do and he still doesn't improve, you could go see a sex therapist. just know that you don't have to settle for bad sex!
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