A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I'm married and was getting a divorce but my husband came back after 8 mths. of seperation knowing I was pregnant for a married man. The father of my child and I have no relationship or contact since April of 2008. Never will in the future. He wants no part in my babies life. My question is, how can I help my husband understand that my daughter will know him as dad when she is born? When do I explain all this to my new baby? How? Sincerely,Seriously Emotionally Confused
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): It's a brave and special man that takes on another man's child. I know I couldn't do it. Your husband will always know that the child isn't his, but whether he would treat her any different to his own flesh & blood only time will tell.
I don't know how you could make him understand, but from his point of view he possibly thinks he might treat her differently to one of his own, and that she would notice that she's being treated less favourably, put two and two together and start questioning her parentage, especially if she looks noticeably different.
Someone who has had the same experience would be far better equipped to answer your last two questions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): if i was in your position i would'nt tell my baby until she is old enough to understand what has happend. like when she/he is 15= OR WHAT EVER AGE YOU THINKG their mature enough to take the answar.
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