A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice on how to help my friend. My best friend X is a gay guy and well he hasn't exactly told his family he is gay. And for the past 3 years he has been in this relationship with this guy(lets call him Y). From where i stand it has been a pretty aweful relationship, and they havent been doing so good for a long time now. Anyway my friend finally decided he had enough and he broke up with Y. But now Y is trying to get him to get back together, saying he will go to X's house and tell X's parents he is gay and he is not willing to let him go saying he cant leave him and that he knows richard doesnt want to break up with him and etc. My friend is so afraid his parents find out he's gay so is giving in to going back to Y. I know he is really unhappy and ive never seen him so sad. But he wont do anything out of fear, He's my best friend and i hate to seem like this and id love to help him.. ant advice? By the way i'm a girl so getting violent with this guy is not an option(not that i'd do it even if i was a dude)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 November 2011):
 YOu can support your friend by being a good friend..... Beyond that, there's not a darn thing you can do. HE has to address the sexual blackmail of Y.... AND, it looks like he is going to have to come out of the closet to his parents..... As that goes on.... YOU have the same function.... be the best friend you can be.....Good luck to the both of you....
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 He needs to be true to himself and admit to himself who he really is. It is really hard for a gay person to come out to there family but it needs to be done at some stage. I guess he is just not ready now and he fears that it will get out so he is just going along with his ex's rules. Talk to him, tell him that he should not be ashamed to be true to himself and he should not pretend any longer that he is someone that he is not. There really is not a lot else you can do with this situation, it is up to him to be true to himself and tell his parents. Just be there for him as a friend, and show him that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Most people who are in the closet, believe it or not there parents already have a good idea that they are gay.
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