A
female
age
36-40,
*aggy
writes:I have a boyfriend who i love so much but he drinks alot,that is even within the week and on weekends he uses around five thousand drinking with his freinds.I have tried to tell him to reduce but he hasn't. Please help me on how am going to help my boyfreind stop drinking because if he doesn't i think i will be forced to leave him. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): well i started drinking once i found out my dad had cancer and he was going to die i was about 18 years old i was drinking so much i couldnt remember not one night getting home for four years it got so bad i lost all my friends my girlfriend of ten years and almost lost my biz this went on even after my dad passed away up until now i joined a group got some help i calmed down alot i mean ALOT but i am still fighting the war my new girlfriend is about to dump me i cant blame her i drover her nuts but thanks to her i can still hold on hopefully i dont lose her i been going to this program for 11 months now and slowly i am pulling away from drinking to get me wrong its damn hard and once ina while i fall off the wagon but i am not giving up cause i can feel in me that one day it will end thanks to great doctors family and what friends i have left now tell your boyfriend that he has to start now and not wait another sec and he cant give up and after multiple attempts he will find what works for him i am 31 years old now and i finally see the light i wasted sooo many good years hopefully i can make them up with my family and friends hopefully they will forgive me for what i have done to them for the past 13 yearsi wish you the best of luck but you cant do anything for him he has to do it on his own you have to be there to support him threw it and go all the way in good times and in bad times make sure he reads this it sucks to be a drunk for 13 years hope it doesnt happen to him or to anyone its a terrible thing
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): i think u shud sit down with him n tell him how much u dislike the way he is when he drinks...tell him that you love him a lot n do not want to lose him..tell him the effects of drinking..
all d best
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): thats a good idea ive got tw0 sisters and a brother and they are all alcholics and no matter what anyother part of the family say they just dont want to stop drinking i hate to see them like that and ive never drank myself so its not because we had a bad childhood you are right to say they need to stop for them self no one eles but none of them will my family have lost there wifes and husbands and their children have beaten their own mum on many ocashion its very sad to see and with one of my sisters she only has a matter of mths lelf to live unless she stop it with all the drink sorry to go on but try your hardness to talk him round and get help with his drinking before its too late
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A
female
reader, x-AiMee-AnDeRsOn-x  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Heyyy My Name is Aimee and even though i am only 12 heres my advice!
If you really want to help your boyfreind to stop drinking then you have to help and support him all the way.
Sit down and talk about how you feel about him drinking all the time and here what he has to say!then take it from ther and see how it goes!
SoMetimes going to a support team thing could maybe help you's out as well and if none of that help maybe try going to the doctor for advice or help.
well if my advice is any good then let me know love aimee
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): If you think that your partner is an alcoholic, that is alcohol dependant, ie can not go a day without it, then Im afraid this man can only stop for himself. Usually with these types of addiction there is an underlying problem that needs to be addressed.
I dont know how readily available counselling is in Kenya but it is certainly something that can drag up the past and deal with it. If his alcohol dependancy is great he may be able to get on a detox program but again, this will only be allowed if he wants to stop drinking for himself. If you have previously asked him to reduce his alcohol and he has taken no notice then perhaps you need to end the relationship, at least until he deals with his own problems. Then you can reassess your relationship and the way that you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): I'm not quite sure what quantity of drink you can buy with 5000 Kenyan Shillings, but I do know it equates to approximately £36 in the UK, which would buy quite a lot here. I'm guessing that in Kenya it would buy rather more.
There is always the danger when drinking to excess that you can get addicted to it and become an alcoholic. If your boyfriend has reached that stage the only person that can make him stop is himself. He has to acknowledge that he has a problem first before he can tackle the problem.
If you are not happy with his drinking habits there is little you can do to make him change them if he does not want to. If that means you will have to leave him then so be it. Relationships with people who have a drink problem are very difficult.
If he shows some determination to either stop drinking or reduce the amount, he will probably need some support and I think you would be a good person to give that support.
Phil
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