A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, well this is gonna sound pretty stupid... its about my Dad. Basically when I was about 10 my parents split up. At the time I wasnt really bothered, I dont know why really, because I'm sure I loved him... anyway at that point he was quite violent towards my mum and sometimes me (when he was drunk) although I dont think he ever meant to hurt me, he just couldnt control his reactions when he was drunk. I was more involved than my younger brother, because my mum was sleeping in my bed (it was a double) and my dad would always come into my room late and night and 'talk'. I dont remember much being so young and I didnt really know what was going on. Anyway he had to go into hospital for a few days, and during this time we moved out to a rented house (this still haunts me, but I realise it was the only way we could have got out, and we did get him groceries and stuff when he got back).Anyway after that I visited him a bit but he was always bad mouthing my mum and saying she had a affair and stuff. I dont know if thats true but who cares? I began to see him less and less. Right now im 16 and my brother see's him every other weekend, but all they do is play on the playstation or look at cars and eat pizza and stuff. Which bores me to death if im honest. Hes a very immature guy and has no patience with me at all. I just dont want to go round, and I feel bad because I should want to see my own dad right? But my step dad is so much nicer to me... Anyway I know I must miss him, because it was my prom the other week, and all my friends lined up with their dads for pictures, and I was feeling pretty gutted! But he wouldnt go anywhere if my mum was there (they dont talk, and I dont want them together incase she gets hurt..) so that means he never goes to parents evenings, school plays, horse shows, nothing. He see's my life through pictures I show him. Which isnt a lot. And if I hear any of those father daughter songs I pretty much well up on the spot! And I keep meeting all these lovely men and its stupid but I always wish they were my dad because they are so nice to me (most recently ive been in hospital and the doctor was so nice to me and looked after me, plus teasing me about my skirt length and stuff and I just wish I had a dad like that) God this sounds so stupid! But I dont know how to sort it out, because I think my dad loves me... just doesnt LIKE me... if that makes sense. He can relate to my brother because they both like tv and playstations (basically doing nothing) but I like horses and animals and he is in no way interessted and hates spending money soo... there is not much I can think of doing. Our conversation is so awkward whenever I go round. I just dont know if I can repair this or what :SThanks x
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affair, drunk, immature, money, moved out, split up, teasing, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Hi, i dont think you should feel guilty about the way that you feel about your dad. It seems that your dad may think you sided with your mother during the split? But at the end of the day, he behaved badly in his treatment of your mother so you did the right thing. Maybe you could try and suggest doing something that you would both like doing and see what his reaction is? Good luck!
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