A
female
age
51-59,
*apricorn7
writes:Hi ... I need some help and useful advice .... after almost 4 months ( no contact previously ) after a painful breakup with my ex whom I loved dearly I have recieved a nasty and scathing seven page email from him, stating EVERYTHING I did wrong within the relationship, some of it was very personal and upsetting . I had been making progress with my recovery and had stared to think of other things again , as previously our breakup had been all consuming .......This nasty, negative contact from him has dragged me back down drastically .... I do not intend to reply, he never once apologised for anything he contributed in the demise of the relationship....... He made it all out to be my fault .... How do i keep my feelings in control so as not to let this letter from him affect my already low self esteem ..... please help
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female
reader, capricorn7 +, writes (9 December 2012):
capricorn7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much good people who have responded...... I'm not going to reply to him ... I'm starting to belive that maybe I had a lucky escape if he can be so cruel and vicious towards me and not take at least part of the blame for our break-up ... I have been thinking for a while that he had the capactity to control me and the comment about being emotionally abused hit a chord within me. .... lots lof love to all of you .... :)
A
male
reader, anonymus2012  +, writes (8 December 2012):
i belive that he is still not over you as and as a way to give an end for once and all to all his pain he wrote you that letter. it is easier to put all the blame on you than to accept he is wrong too. he just want to all the pain go away.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Wow, he obviously has a lot of anger over the ending of your relationship and used a cowardly tactic of sending you an email. Instead of moving on or at least having the nuts to confront you and talk openly about it, he used a juvenile tactic and unfortunately you bought into it.
I would simply delete the email and I wouldn't respond. Whether his concerns are valid or not if you engage him in a fight, you'll only anger him AND yourself. Nobody wins in battles like these. Relationships aren't repaired with vicious emails -- they only get more dirt thrown on them.
Give yourself sometime to get over the anger that you are feeling. In a few days time, I think the initial shock and resentment will wear itself out and you'll realize that it was a juvenile tactic.
Also take solace in knowing that when you don't respond, he'll be even more irritated than you.
Take care,
Eddie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2012): I am terribly sorry that you ex sent you a nasty email. Yes just pretend as if you never received it. It definitely hurts very much. You know what I am guessing? he is not over you, you don't specify who broke up but if he waited 7 months without any contact, there are only two options, either he met someone right after the breakup and the relationship did not work or he did not manage to meet somebody else because he is not over you. Either way he is frustrated and he is just letting out his frustration on you, which is outrageous and wrong, however there is a possibility that he is trying to get your attention by providing you. Ignore his message. You deserve a lot better. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): He's not worth your time. I dated a man who did the same to me, sent me an email at work listing everything he didn't like about me. It was the meanest email I ever received. I cried & still think about it unfortunately...just because of the content knowing how to hurt me the most.
He is a jerk. Don't give him the upper hand. Some people just aren't suppose to be together, but you end it with dignity. He wants to lower your self esteem, that is what that type of man is all about.
Cut off all contact, don't read anything else he may send you. Be strong & don't let him drag you down.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012):
Your ex is using the most basic purpose of placing blame on you to protect his own self-esteem and ego by making you responsible when things went wrong. Of course he is acting like a donkey ass, and has no right to be nasty ..
I'd delete the email, delete his name, I'm not very high tech, but block his emails if you can .. And tell yourself, that okey the relationship didn't work but its time to move on.. He is being mr nasty now and your going to throw what he said out your pretty head into the garbage much like you did with his email...
Don't let it effect you .. The email is more about him than you..
Let it go, sweetie.. Take care
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