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female
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anonymous
writes: So my bf and I have been on and off since december, we love eachother very much, but broke up yesterday because he's depressed and I don't know how to deal with it, and just started mothering him which he didn't like. I have missed being single for such a long time that it was a relief to break up, but yesterday night was so horrible i had three hours sleep, cried all night and had to go to college next morning, and ended up crying a lot there too. As the break up was quite clean, we agreed to be friends and it ended quite well. I texted him thismorning, just a lighthearted text to find out how he was and what he was up to, but he didn't text back. I know his phone was low on battery yesterday as he charged it at my house for a while, but it wasn't a long enough time for it to last long, and he avoids going home because he hates it there so may not have been back to charge his phone. I keep telling myself that this is why he didn't recieve the message. I rang him at half five thisafternoon and after a couple of rings i was cut off. I assumed he had cut me off, and sent him a message telling him i needed to speak to him to sort my head out and that i wasn't going to start hitting on him, which was what he was afraid of. I got no reply, and after a while i rang him, but his phone was off. If he was trying to avoid me he would have cut me off, not turn his phone off. that's not like him. I can't think of any reason why he may be avoiding me, as we decided to be friends and i text him the night before and he replied as if i were his friend (or lover) so why might things have changed? My worst fear is that he has a new love interest, but that's unlikely after 24 hours of being apart, and i know he didn't dump me for anyone else because I know when he is lying and he wasn't lying to me. I guess my point is I've really missed being single and i'm glad we've now got time apart, but i still love him more than i've ever loved everyone else i love put together, and the thought of not being held in his arms again is really painful, beyond words. Just the day before we broke up he was talking to me about marriage and was naming our kids, which may be why it's so hard right now. I want to talk to him, see if i can negotiate and see if we can change this from a break up to just a break. We need time apart, that's definite, but we do eachother the world of good, and he knows it. I know he loves me and i love him, it's just bad timing and i need to sort my head out. We've been on a break before and it was the best thing that ever happened to our relationship, which is why i think it could work this time. I really feel that now is the time for a fresh start, changing my outlook on everything. To be honest, I've hated everything in my life except for him for such a long time and i want to start everything again with him included. How can I go about getting him back without scaring him off? sorry this is long-winded, I just haven't talked to anyone properly about everything yet so this is where it's all coming out xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): He may have decided not to call you back because he needs to think things over.
You do, too. You'd do better to just give it a rest and leave well enough alone.
If he wants to get back in touch, he will. You don't have to do anything.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): You need to stop calling him and sending him text messages. If he IS avoiding you, this may be because he REALLY wants to make it clear that there is no chance of you teo getting back together. Stop contacting him for, say, about two weeks and see what happens.
Completely avoid him - when he realises you are not there for him anymore, he will start to think you are not worried anymore and that is when you find out how he really feels about you.
Just because you like him, doesn't mean he will like you back. Take a break from him - if he doesn't make an effort to contact you after you stop contacting him, then you know he really doesn't want to get back with you.
Trust me, there are other guys out there who would be better for you.
You say you two broke up because he's depressed - don't try and help him out of it - he doesn't want you to be his hero. Men like to be 'the hero'.
Put simply, don't contact him and if you two are meant to be together, he will contact you soon enough!
Spend time with friends, forget about him. I know it's hard to forget someone you really like, I'm in that situation myself right now, but you will drive yourself crazy if you obsess over HIM!
Hope I've helped xx
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