A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 years old and really miserable.I have been fat most of my life, and I am just sick and tired of it. people tell me all the time that im stunning, but I dont buy it.I am so self conscious that Im terrified to leave the house because i know people will judge me for how i look. I'm a size uk18, and i know there are alot of people worse off than that, but it doesnt matter how pretty i am if im fat. people are so quick to judge you these days, is it really any wonder were all dying to be skinny and glamorous? I've tried everything to slim down, even the stupid things that i know i shouldnt do, including starvation, but thats only made it worse because when you finally eat again your putting more weight on because of your slowed down metabolism. I have dreams of what i would look like if i were to be thin, and i am so happy. my dad doesnt pick on me, my boyfriend comes home on tour breaks to be with me for a while instead of flirting with pretty models and famous singers, and most importantly, I have confidence in myself and look forward to going out instead of hiding myself and hoping to stay invisible.how can i get to be skinny? how can i get to be something my parents can be proud of? Sometimes i think death would be so much easier, but then i think of all the things i want to do, and i realise there has to be more to life than just living like this.does anyone need a slimming partner?even if nobody replies to this, or even reads it, I wont regret writing this, its my biggest secret, my insecruity.kind regards to anyone who comes across this, i hope you have much better luck in life than me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I think you need to confront these insecurities head on. The best thing you can do, is book yourself into see a counsellor - to talk to someone outside of your life, someone that is not emotionally tied to you. If I'm ever feeling bad about myself and my life, it's the best thing I can do for myself. Counsellors are great, because you can talk openly and freely to them, and they can help give you the tools you need to solve your problems.. and look IN on your life.. seeing patterns you didn't even know where there.
It's important that you recognise the thoughts you're having for what they are - irrational thoughts.. it's all a reflection of the mindset you're in at the moment. That little voice in your conscience that's telling you you're fat and useless... you can't let this control you.
You need to think of these horrible, harmful thoughts like symptoms of an illness... as a blocked nose is a symptom of the flu. Once you work through the emotional stuff (talking to someone you trust), or maybe taking some mild anti-depressants or St Johns Wart.. whatever works for you... these horrible feelings will start to lift.. and your thoughts will become more positive.
The worrying thing is, reading your post reminds me so much of how my sister used to talk.. and that was before she became anorexic and nearly died. Please don't go down that track. It's a LOONG slow road to recovery and so many don't even make it that far. Focus on what's inside YOU.. learn more about yourself.. learn to love yourself.. take up some interests.. get your mind active.. start creating your life from the inside out and don't place all your emphasis on your outside appearance. The RIGHT men out there are interested in women with SUBSTANCE...
I don't know what you look like, but you need to know that that cliche saying about inner beauty shining through is true. If you work on yourself from the inside.. it also fixes the outside as well.. you'll stop focussing so much on what you're eating, because this is something you do to help feel in control of your life.
So take control of your life.. and make the decision not to live like you are anymore. Start looking after yourself :)
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 June 2009):
Hun, I think you need to worry less about being slim and more about your mental state... you have parents who love you, a boyfriend, and yet you are SCARED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE???
You don't say how much you weigh but I would put money on the fact you are not overweight.
I think you have serious self esteem issues.
Go and see the doctor and talk about your weight obsession and paranoia about being judged. You may need some counselling.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Hun i know exactly what you mean.
i think i am really fat i've never been called it mind you.
but i can vary is sizes
i'm not just one size as i am sure you're not.
you're parents should be proud of you NO MATTER WHAT!
not all guys actually like the stick thin slimming girls and stuff.
alot of guys like red heads and girls with curves something they can hold onto.
i reckon if someone did a survery out of about 10 guys the majority of them like 6/7 of them would say they want a girl with meat something they can hold onto and stuff.
there is nothing wrong with you at all.
you're just really paranoid and self concious i've been there.
i was extremley paranoid in college times and i hated it.
once i started work i gained confidence and lost some weight.
still trying to lose more but still takes time.
you don't want to be something stick thin and lifeless you want to be who you are and people will all love you and appreciate you for being that!
you're parents love you no matter wha and if they say they are not proud of you then they're not very nice people!
you're there child they should support you in anything and everything you do.
i hope this helps.
look i've been through paranoia and stuff and i know what it's like i'm 20 years old so if you EVER want to talk pop me a message and we'll talk further.
i wish you all the best of luck hun!
you're a great girl! anyone would be lucky to have you and you're parents should be and probably are so proud of you.
lpease don't hesitate to message me :)
i'd love to help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): You are probably judging yourself more harshly than anyone else does. Muffy gave some good advice. If you are really serious about being slimmer, watch your diet. Avoid the fats and carbs and snacking between meals. And get some regular exercise. Good long walks are great. But don't then come home and "reward yourself" with a snack. Let the exercise work off any excess. Drink a fruit juice, instead. The more you exercise, the less you will crave snacks. Believe me, it is true. Your body becomes more "energy efficient". And the good, balanced meals, with protein and fiber (lean meats, fish and poultry, veggies) will turn the soft stuff into firm muscle tissue. And you will feel great and more confident.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Have you been to a doctor? They can refer you to the hospital and they can set up a plan of what to eat! And do you have a gym membership? You need to put in lots of time at the gym, whenever you have a spare hour you should be there. There are plenty of slimming aids out there, so you could ask a pharmacist to help you find the right one for you. X
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A
female
reader, nickieausgr  +, writes (5 June 2009):
Ok so heres the thing, we only have 1 life, if u wanna be nice & slim now is the time, you'll never get over it if u dont! But heres the thing, DO IT FOR YOURSELF!! Not for anyone to love you more or to be proud of you... I was always chubby but i tried & i did it, its a feeling that no one else can give you... Its like completing urself. All u gotta do is cut down the junk food & exercise, even just walking or something. You can do it & when u have acheived ur goal nothing will ever be able to put u down...
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A
female
reader, muffy  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Hi sweetie.Listen,you arent't the fattest person in the world and it's something that can go away with a little work.You don't need to be self-concious.You have a boyfriend who loves you for you and your dad loves you.You don't need to impress anyone.Instead of being self-concious,be self-confident.Instead of junk food,just eat no carbs and excersise everyday.Go for a walk once a day and eat foods without carbs or hgih in fat.Just watch what you eat and excersise and your weight will be gone in an instant.It may sound easy but you gottah push yourself,I'm gonnah start dieting and excersising to.So just be happy and confident and push yourself to lose as much weight as you feel is necessary.
I hope I've helped
Love always,Muffy
333
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