A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:How will i get through this sad time?My husband and i have recently split, and im finding it so hard to cope, im finding weekends the worst as i dont want to go out incase i see him or see one of his friends or family. I feel completely cut off from the world, was not expecting our relationship to end though there had been some problems and we have also discovered we dont want the same things from married life (i would like a child, he doesnt). I do have a good support network but nothing anyone can say is making me want to get on with my life, i truly feel heartbroken and im in the deepest pain. We had been together 9 years and he was my first real boyfriend so I have had no experience of a situation like this before. Would be grateful for anyones advice.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (1 October 2006):
 Heartbreak is something we all go through at least once in our lives and even though we feel we will never get through it we do, time heals although you'll never forget him or what you both shared you will get over it and move on.
You can't avoid bumping into him or his family as the longer you leave it the harder it will be when it does happen and really you need to get on with your life and sometimes seeing that person moving on helps you to realise that you need to aswell.
Try to find things to fill your time up with and throw yourself into things.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (1 October 2006):
i am sorry to hear what you said was very sad.breack ups are hard to get over you do in end though takes alot time so say you will always remember your first love anyway hun my advice to you is try keep your mind of him and try get n with life go out with friends erm all that kinda stuffi think helps me.
it wont be easy and will take time but you will. good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006): Im sorry to hear of your situation,i just wanted to let you know you are not alone,im in exactly the same situation,after splitting up with my ex also after 9 years,and im 10 months down the road now,and its getting harder,not easier,he is with someone else now,so i also dread going anywhere incase i bump into him and his girlfriend,i seriously dont know what ill do when that does happen!im really just clinging to my past,and cant see a way forward at all,i dont even see a future for me without him in it,the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that he may come back one day,which is highly unlikely,as we dont even have any contact.
people keep telling me it gets better,and i think for most people it proberly does,but its just not happening for me,i totally adored him,and still do,i would do anything to have him back!ive had a few dates since we split up,but no one in my eyes compares to him,i thought perhaps if i met someone else,then i wouldnt think about my ex so much.
Im sorry that i cant help you out with your problem,i just wanted you to know,that you are not alone.wishing you every happiness in finding your mr right,and starting a family together!
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A
female
reader, confused.com +, writes (1 October 2006):
Thats aweful situation to be in but in life there has to be bad times for there to be good ones. I know its easier said than done but mopeing around and staying in really wont help. This is the time to get your girlfriends and ask them for support, ask them to be your rock their the best people to lean on in this time of need. You need to go out and if you do see some one you met through him it will make you feel better eventually knowning that he hasn't stopped you having a life it will be difficult but so is life so stop drowning your sorrows it wont make the pain go away, having fun with your friends will. Good luck im sure you'll be happier sooner than you know it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006): I am so sad to read your message, i really feel for you. As you say there is nothing anyone can do to make you feel better at the moment. I would just recommend doing things for yourself and if you can, make yourself go and see your friends and family and accept every offer of getting out you can. You may not feel like going out, or very good company, but just being out and with others will slowly make you realise you can get through this and after a while you will begin to enjoy yourself.
If you cant make yourself go out why not do some nice things for yourself for example have a luxurious bath with lots of smelly things in, paint your nails, do girly things. You might want to try out some new exercise to release some energy as well (running worked for me).
I have not been in the same situation, but have been heartbroken and I was so sad I never thought i would feel real again, but 6 months on I do. For me the release came through running, and with time. I ran to escape the bad relationship, and to release the deep pain I felt, im sure people wondered why on earth i kept on running if i was in tears all the time! It gave me some self confidence back too.
You will get there, thats for certain. I promise it will get better. take care of yourself.
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