A
female
age
30-35,
*Dazzling
writes:I was in a relationship with this guy for 4.5 months (we're both 18). We had some really good times but more often than I should have, I got upset by his decrease in effort and his sexual pressure though I wasn't ready to lose my virginity and said no, fights etc. He wanted me to plan a last date before he leaves this week to spend the summer overseas (and comes back in 2 months for university). We saw a movie, throughout which he cuddled me and we kissed. It felt amazing, as in fireworks going off inside.Then we had a meal and afterward... he broke up with me. I did not see it coming after the affection during the movie, and felt.. used? He said he wanted to end on good terms and due to most likely going to different unis and, also, we are more different than similar. Which is true.. we think very differently and have a contrasting opinion on nearly everything. Like we don't understand each other. There was a growing gap in our compatibility, so my head knows breaking up is for the best, but my heart.. feels like it's dying.I'm assuming HE'S not going to sit in the exam hall and be fighting to hold back tears or crying himself to sleep at night, right? Or else he would've waited til after exams (4 days later), even if he's catching his flight on the afternoon of his last exam. He is ok without me and this makes me feel even worse. I guess next year at university (where I want to study medicine) it will be easier to move on, what with meeting a lot of new people, right? But right now I find it difficult to stop crying so much. I really need to focus on exams but it's hard with all these hurt feelings. It's been 2 days. He's leaving to go overseas tomorrow and I will never see him ever again. I am in pieces. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): I had this happen to me as well, but luckily the stinker waited till after I'd finished my exams. Tell yourself that you can cry after the exams and lock it down till then. Once the exams are over, then have a really big meltdown. As far as seeing him again, why would you want to see a person that can switch his emotions on and off like that. I think you'ver had a lucky escape
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 November 2012):
 While his timing sucks, it's better that he broke up now rather than later.
I know you are hurting even though you know he did the right thing... even when we know it's right it hurts to be left.
Sadly, there is NOTHING you can do to heal this faster. Time does heal.... but it could take a few weeks before you feel human again.
Do your best on exams. When not taking exams or studying for them (hard at best lousy right now I know)... give yourself permission to fully grieve your loss.
you can cry
you can eat ice cream (or other fav comfort foods)
you can write long letters (that you never send)
you can think about him all you want (and CRY CRY CRY)
do not worry about makeup... or weight...
give yourself permission for SIX WEEKS to be obsessive and whiny about him. Write him long long letters that you will never send (in fact, seal them up in an envelope and label them to be read when you turn 30... it's good for a laugh I've done it)....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): You need to put things in perspective. Be glad you did not sleep with him as it sounds like that was all he was after. You also need to understand that if you dont study and mope around you are going to fail. No man is worth failing an eaxm over especially a loser like your ex. Dont call or contact him. Even in his presence you need to put a positive and happy front. Focus on your exams and dont let your mind wander to him, it will happen you need snap out of it and focus. You heart will heal and yes it takes time but starting to focus on the positive and on exams is a step in the right direction. Wash your face and stop losing tears over this guy and get your books out and study. Trust me when you change your focus and keep busy you will eventually get this guy out of your system. I have been there and had also wrote my exams with a broken heart but I knew what I wanted and made sure nothing or no one is going to destroy my future. The rest is up to you, you can feel sorry for yourself and fail or you can start afresh with passing your exams.
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