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writes: how can i get through a day without imangining my partner cheating on me, why can i not get through a day without checking his phone. why do i assume that he will at some point cheat on me and why do i think that he will cheat ion me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, _Lotus_  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 I used to be exactly the same, always checking my boyfriend's phone, his emails etc purely out of fear that he may be cheating on me! Trust me, this did not help our relationship and it just made my paranoia ten times worse!This relationship has since ended and I've decided that in my new relationship, I've got to make a change or i'll never get out of this horrible cycle! So, I refuse to look at my boyfriends phone, refuse to ask who hes texting when hes texting people (which is hard but it really does help!). I now have the view that if he is going to cheat, then theres nothing I can do to stop him! But, living with the constant fear that he will and checking up on him all the time, may just drive him to do it! And at the end of the day, if he does cheat, hes not worth my time anyway!I know its hard because I've been there, but you really must try to stop checking up on him and believing that he will cheat! Its not good for both you and your relationship. If he loves you, and is a decent guy then he will be faithful! Good luck and stay strong! If you want to chat, feel free to message me! xx
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 "Dr. Phil" hee hee
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): I agree with Dr. Phil as well. However please keep in mind that the more you do that, the more your significant other is going to feel smothered and unnecessarily untrusted (if he has never done anything to lose your trust).
My boyfriend has treated me like you are treating your boyfriend, for 7 months and just last night I packed my bags and said "See ya" because as much as I love him, I felt continuously disrecpected by his perpetual accusations when I have never done anything to deserve this lack of trust.
If he has never done anything to lose your trust then you need to start focusing on your own personal issues that you are projecting on to him or you can say "bye bye" to this relationship because he will get fed up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): I don't think anyone here can give you a satisfactory answer because no-one except you knows what's going on in your mind, or what experiences of cheating partners you've had in the past - if any.
You'd need to give some more detail for anyone on here to make any assumptions or give you the answers you're looking for.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): I answer this as I lick my fresh wounds...
I am assuming there is a reason you don't trust him, something deep down in your psyche is making you think that he is cheating on you. Take it from me, checking his phone, checking up on him, making sure he is where he says he is, will only push him farther away. I did this to my husband. Believe me, it doesn't gain any points in a man's book! I suggest you always be truthful with each other in your relationship. I know this is easier said than done. Speak up! Voice your opinions! Talk to each other about everything. Do as much as you can together. Talking and doing things together should take any doubt out of what he thinks and where he is, or even who is he with and what he is doing. Communication is the key.
Also, be confident! You, right now, are coming across as paranoid and needy. That will definitely chase him away.
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