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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I'm almost 16. I'm just under 5'2" about 105lbs. little less at times, really big green eyes and long, naturally straight dark brown hair with black and auburn highlights/lowlights. I usually have pretty high self confidence and carry myself as such. I'm a really friendly person, know how to engage others, and love being around people. I think i have a nice body and my boyfriend tells me he "loves my tummy" all the time lol but for the last about 9 months or so my past bfs, one at the begining of these 9 months that i was with for 3 months, another i was with for 2, then a 2 month time pd where i was single, and now my current bf i have been with for almost 3 months, all three of these guys have asked me to take sexy pictures for them and after some reluctance i have agreed. Letting them take these pics of me made me feel better about my body and made me feel that they "liked" me more which i have come to realize isnt really true. My current bf has some of these pics and says he really likes them but i now believe it is becoming a problem because every time we get in an argument and i will say I'm sorry just to end it and to get him to stop screaming at me, he will ask for a pic to "make it up to him". (he is 18, about to be 19 btw) he gets so violent and angry during these arguments and I feel that he might do something with these pics if we break up or if he gets too angry with me and thinks of it at the time. I've tried asking for him to just delete them but he says "no they're mine. I'm keeping them, dont be dumb." Should i get these pics from him? How do i without upsetting him too much and without being rude about it? PLEASEEE HELPPP. thankkk uu in advance.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): Firstly the pictures they come with a health warning If you are posing sexually or they are deemed lewd or libidinous then possession would be an offence. Sorry For this but for you to upload and send(distribute) these images may also be an offence, however as a minor you wouldn't be treated half as bad as your guy.
(You would probably need to be 18 to consent to such photos.)
I think you are remarkably loyal given the emotional stress you are being placed under. I am sure you could find someone who is more loving and more deserving the way your post is written is that you are in the wrong all the time and want to please him.
Just remember that a good relationship is built on mutual respect consideration and love it does not mean one party has to be treated like a doormat by the other as I said you deserve a whole lot more, so don't demean your body or self respect by allowing any more to be taken and if worst comes to worst let him publish and be damned, it won't be you who gets a seeing to in jail
Finally before you lambast me remember the advice is only that, the path you walk is up to you!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): We'll you can tell him that if he has erotic photos of a 15 year old and distributes them that he can be charged with FELONY distribution of CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. THis is a HUGE deal and his life will be ruined. There was a spot on the morning news about a couple (who took pictures of their kids in the bath to Walmart for processing and) got charged. The Charges are very serious, but in their case the images were simply of them in the bath and failed the legal test of erotic. If you were at all posed to look sexy odds are the images are illegal due to your age. There's another case where a girl lost her cell phone at school (with erotic nudes she took on it), it got turned into the school cop, and she was arrested. She pled guilty to avoid a trial and is now a FELONY sexual offender, and will have a very serious problem getting a job, getting into college or getting an apartment.I suggest you do some internet research, show him cases where kids have been arrested, and get him to delete the images... while it may seem stupid, the reality is that there are people who will throw the book at him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): I know how you feel - my ex was abusive like that too. I think I would've broken up with him a year earlier if he didn't have those pics of me. There are guys who wouldn't use them to get back at you and there are guys (like him) who would. When I was still with my ex, I got him into a sexy mood then playfully said I wanted to look at the pics of me with him on his computer. Then at the very least you can see exactly where he's stored them (and hopefully doesn't have backup copies anywhere). Then I was a bit all over him and was like "mmm, I think we can do better than these" and go through them all and say for some that you don't really like how your bum or whatever looks in that one and think he could take some way sexier one of you - even come up with some suggestions for poses to talk about - then say something like "you know what - lets delete these and start again. It'll be fun". Then just 'distract' him from taking any right then.If this doesn't work, at least you know where the pics are stored and can hopefully get at them at some point. Yes it's really sneaky but you kind of have to be to protect yourself in this situation. It worked for me. And next time, get to know a guy really well before you let him take any pics of you - make sure he's not the kind of person to be vindictive in a break up. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the last anonymous female reader, thankk uu veryy much. that provided a lot of clarity on the situation :) and as for the compliment at the begining of your post, thankk uu as well :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): first off you sound very beautiful, be confident in that even if you're not 'perfect' no one is so you should embrace and love whatever you got and the right guy will love you for it no matter what you look like.
Now letting these guys take pics of you like this is VERY dangerous. Once they have them there is pretty much no way you can get them back. You shouldn't let them manipulate you into taking these pictures, even if it does boost your self esteem. There are lots of legal problems with all this too. If he's 18 or older like you say and you're under 18 that's illegal and it could be considered child porn for him to have these pictures of you.
Now onto the relationship issues here, you should not be with this guy he sounds like an ass especially if he gets violent and abusive like you say. He has no right to scream at you and he is basically using you to get these pictures that isn't right. Boys his age take those pics and i can almost guarantee he's sharing them with his friends to brag and show off so i would suggest you stop letting these guys take these pictures of you. YOU DESERVE BETTER!
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