A
female
age
30-35,
*helly louisa
writes:ive been seing my boyfriend now for over a year and things have started to really fizzle out,we met last summer after never meeting but talking to each other for a few days,instantly i fell for him,we just got on so well and after a day we started going out,a month later we got engaged and were set to marry in december,we were long distance for the first 4 months then decided he would move up to were i lived,that is when it started to get worse,i realised he had a canabis problem and i didnt really know how to take it,i told him i didnt think he should do it anymore as i knew it would end up tearing us apart.so that is all we argued about for months and it ended as i cudnt come 2nd best anymore,but silly me has given his another chance and things are just getting worse,not the canabis but there is no spark or exitment anymore,he has no emotions and really is very self centered.he says the most heartless things that ive never heard in my life.the thing is i love him so much even thow all the pain he has put me thow,despite all the bad there is some good times we have and that is why i still think its worth holding on too,i just need to know how to get the spark back and to get him to notice me again like at the start?
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engaged, long distance, notice me, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shelly louisa +, writes (3 September 2011):
shelly louisa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your feedback,thing is he wont open up to me,when i try and say lets go out somewere he says he would rather go to the gym,it went from spending every minute together till only seing him a few hours at night,we did use to spend to much time together which caused the spark to go but now he gets in from work goes straight to gym then to bed,he isnt even bothered about us being together,so now i have to find a way off him forgetting the past and moving on to something we use to have.
A
female
reader, shelly louisa +, writes (3 September 2011):
shelly louisa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your feedback,thing is he wont open up to me,when i try and say, lets go out somewhere, he says he would rather go to the gym, it went from spending every minute together to only seeing him a few hours at night,we did use to spend so much time together which caused the spark to go but now he gets in from work goes straight to gym then to bed, he isnt even bothered about us being together,so now i have to find a way of him forgetting the past and moving on to something we use to have.
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A
female
reader, RuthyHart  +, writes (3 September 2011):
 I think, you leaped into the relationship without looking into it.. (im in a relateship like that right now) a lot of us out there in the world, wants to love and be loved by that perfect lover we always dreamt about. but my opinion, you probably should take it slow with me, and not rush things, give it time to really get to know each other. The spark is probably gone maybe you two spend too much time together, maybe getting on each others nerves.. it probably annoys him that you complain about his weed habits, which sub conciously makes him feel bad cuz its something that hes into. and it annoys you because you want him to be sober, and not to do it cuz the law says NO. My opinion maybe to get the spark back, it to accept each others hobbies and activities. try going out to a nice dinner and a movie.. be romantic. well, i hope this helped out alittle :)
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