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How can I get the confidence to do more things without feeling guilty? And any suggestions on how to end my relationship and not feel like I'm dropping in a hole of being alone forever?!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi Aunts and Uncles :)

This may be a little long but I could really do with some help.

I am a single 24 year old female, would describe myself as being attractive,easy going,hardworking and loyal amongst many other things. Not meaning to sound at all big headed or anything,just trying to give a description lol! Right so my issue is, I feel like I am stuck in a rut that I can't get out of.

I have a great job which surrounds me with people everyday, and it's about the only thing in my life that makes me actually happy. I moved back,alone, to the UK about a year and a half ago(I was living abroad for many years with my family). I find it so hard to make any friends, and the friends I do have live really far from where I live. I don't have any hobbies,I don't Have any sort of social life all I do is work,go home,sleep,work,go home,sleep. When ever I get paid, I save literally all my money because It makes me feel bad if I spend it, and if I do want the "treat myself" to something new I will often regret it and take it back. I know it sounds really strange,but I want to save so i can afford a deposit to buy my own place rather than waste it on little treats that will only give me happiness for 5 minutes until the novelty wares off. Sometimes I wish I could just say "screw it,I work my arse off why not book a trip to country you've never been!"..but I don't. How can I get the confidence to do more things without feeling guilty?

Also I find it rare that I'm attracted to a guy enough to want to be with him. I have been seeing this guy for five years,given him my heart and soul but His issue is commitment and I know he's no good for me and I want to break away from him. I have put up a profile on a dating website to at least start dating,it's ridiculous the amount of messages I get from men everyday..but do I reply to any? No.And i don't know why.Everyone I know seem to end up in a relationship where the guy wants to be with them, I always end up with the guys that want me as the rebound girl. This commitment-phobic guy, lives about an hour away and the reason why I am still seeing him is because as sad as it seems,I get lonely. No one deserves to be or feel alone. Any suggestions on how to end this and not feel like I'm dropping in a hole of being alone forever?!

Also..

I do like this guy (shock-horror!Lol)that comes in and out of my work,I just get so shy when I see him(and butterflies)and I am certainly not the shy type! I catch him looking at me from the corner of my eye every time he pops in,but the times I've spoken to him ,when he's asked for something,I have stumbled on my words and look like an idiot. Any suggestions on how to approach him properly? How to get a conversation flowing without looking like a plum? Ive Never been like that before towards a guy.

Sorry I know this is long but would really appreciate the advice :)

Thank you,

Beyonce xx

View related questions: confidence, money, shy

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (22 May 2013):

RAINORFIRE agony auntStick to your plan, save your money. Look into investment accounts your money will add up faster and its harder to spend.make your self a budget. and if you work hard and earn dont be afraid to spend on your self some

It sounds to me like you need something to do other then work.Find something your interested in.

You want your own place so start looking around, that can be a fun thing to do.

As for the guy you like, just ask him if he would like to take you to the movies or lunch or wherever be creative, guys are easy.

You live in Europe that's awesome you can go to Paris or Rome, or Spain.

Dont waste it.

You could go on a date and eat real Italian food in Italy..Or real french food.

Or a real Irish bar. and drink real European beer.Or eat real felafels where ever they make those.And then theres Amsterdam. so go fourth have fun

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