A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been together for almost 6 months now. Things are going well but he doesn't do things that he used to and he's not one of the romantic types. He used to text me good morning, we used to text good night, he never talks to me about goals or anything, he used to find ways to spend time whenever I couldn't get to his place but now leaves it up to me, and im always the one having to plan everything. How can I get things to change? And tell him how I feel about this? I know he loves me but it would be nice if he would take the initiative once in awhile. How can I get romance in our relationship so that its better? And how can I get him to talk about goals and dreams? He doesn't like to talk about the future either for some reason.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 June 2013):
 if you are tired of being the one carrying the relationship.
stop doing it. Be prepared to find out you are NOT that important to him.
if he leaves the getting together to you all the time, stop calling him and asking him to do things... wait and see how long it takes him to ask and if he asks just to have sex.
sometimes we date a while (3-6 months) and realize that while we LIKE the person, it's never going to be permanent and yet we don't want to be alone so we don't end it. At the same time, we don't really CARE if we see them or not so that we leave ALL the planning up to them and until they get tired of it, we are good to go.
Stop calling, emailing, texting. Stop asking to see him or making plans with him. See what happens. If he steps up his game, then you can talk to him about what you need... if he "falls off the face of the earth" (goes 2 or more days without contact) then you have to re-evaluate what's going on.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (24 June 2013):
Yes i understand where your coming from and it can be difficult. Would you consider doing a romantic dinner some night and cooking something special that you know that he likes.After that might be a good time to open up to him and tell him how you feel and have a long indept chat with him and talk until you can find out the situation. Best Luck Nora B.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): you need to talk to him about this if its upsetting you. how is he going to talk to you if you can't talk to him about things like this? guys often don't get hints-we have to tell them exactly what we want.tell him about your goals and dreams and ask what his are. theres a reason why he won't talk about-ask him why.maybe its something that happened to him. but either way be patient.
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