A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just a brief picture of what happened: I dumped my ex of nearly 3 years in the New Year after finding out he'd cheated multiple times/ had a drug problem/ was a compulsive liar etc. I'd wanted out for ages as (as bad as it sounds) we just weren't on the same level and I couldn't see myself long-term with him.I met an AMAZING man a month and a bit ago and we've been seeing each other. He's incredible - extremely intelligent, so kind, caring and thoughtful, a real gentleman who respects me and is so sweet and considerate and really seems into me. We have so much in common and I feel like we just click.I don't know if it's because I didn't get to have much time on my own, but lately I find myself bothered by stupid things like pictures people I know put up on facebook with my ex. I remind myself that I've met someone who I truly admire as a person, and that I should be thankful for what happened because I got to meet this great guy and get out of a very unhealthy relationship. But I can't help but feel irritated that my ex goes out or whatever, I know that's probably stupid, I think it's just that I'm still angry about how much time I wasted on him and how he screwed me over big time.I definitely would never want to be with my ex again or even really speak to him for that matter (I've blocked his number/ facebook etc so he can't contact me) so it's not like I still have feelings for him; leaving him was one of the best decisions I've made. How can I stop feeling this resentment towards him when I see people talking about him/ posting photos with him etc? I don't want to cool things off with my new guy (in case you're thinking of saying it's too soon to see someone else) because he has all the qualities I would look for in a partner - even though it's definitely too soon to be thinking about things in the long term, but I'd like that to be on the cards. I just want to get rid of this resentment about my ex - how can I just get rid of that anger? Other than that, I'm quite indifferent as to what he does - I couldn't care less what he's doing right now I just want to forget about all this anger he's caused me.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Could it be that you are more mad at yourself then the ex? For not knowing (and how could you?) all his failings?
I don't blame you for feeling angry at him, he betrayed you, but if you look at it this way, the longer you hold on to the anger, the longer YOUR are going to be affected BY him and BY anger. YOU are not getting anything POSITIVE out of the anger.
Admit and accept that you dated a cheating douchebag, but remind yourself that you also DUMPED him and found someone MUCH MUCH better.
Write it down in a letter and then burn it a week or two later.
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