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How can I get over this betrayal, he used me!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2008)
A female United Kingdom age , *ock chick writes:

Hi

I feel I am going mad.

Last year my now ex partner if 6 years(who had already been married twice before he met me and done the same to them as to me) decided he wanted rid of me and someone else in, who he works with. We weren't married, so i did not have the same rights as married folk.

He bullied me mentally and also forced himself on me sexually whilst we were splitting up and living in the same house, so I moved out.

He also conned me out of alot of money. Not giving me what he promised he would and taking all the equity over the years we were together.

I now have a little house, mortgage (didn't have a mortgage before I met him)but am finding it hard to make ends meet.

Iam looking for more work, as I know (even though he promised me ) i wont get anything else from him.

I can't stop thinking about how he treated me and has twisted things to make him look good and me bad. ie he has brought up things i did long before i ever met him, to turn people against me.

I have been seeing a nurse for depression, but dont want to take meds. She says i have low self esteem.

I wake up in the early hours, feeling really angry and scared for my future.

I hate what he did to me. He used to bring his new g/f round to our house, whilst i was out and I would find things of hers still there (i think they planted them there for me to find)As a result I did things, like write to his boss, to try to get them moved as they work in the same place (government), so now i feel this could have impacted my future job moves.

I hate him so much. His parents said they would remain friends with me, but even they have stopped contacting me and part of me thinks it's things he has told them.

How do i stop feeling these things? i want to but its so difficult

View related questions: bullied, money, moved out, self esteem

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

hi there.what a f*** wit! i'm going through something similar at the moment, also feeling scared for my future! i feel used too and have come out of the relationship with no money or savings. you probably have ups and downs like i do but one thing helps me if i think i'm going mad..make a list of everything he has done to you and all his bad points, allow yourself to get really angry for a while then burn the list letting your angry feelings go with it. i know this all sounds a bit weird but it works for me.above all don't stoop to his level, he really isn't worth it. hating someone uses so much of your time and energy, and i know its not easy to turn off your feelings but i think of it this way..you are a far better person than he is, he's the one whose life is empty of feeling. he's not really happy with his life if all he does is use people.he's gonna end up a sad lonely old man(even if he's with someone).What goes around comes around, he'll get his just desserts one day.maybe try contacting his parents, if for nothing else to find out what he's said about you and if they'll listen put them straight. i hope this helps, as i said i'm in the same boat so i know how you feel x x

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