A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently I have become more and more social.I have attended meetups, hung around more friends, and even tried online dating. But I feel that my age is a barrier. Particularly when interested in women that are slightly older than me. The paradox is that women, especially a few years older, have a tendency to seek older men. I can't play catch-up.It's frustrating having only been in my twenties for a few months. Whilst my university hosts club nights (they are winding down due to the end of the year), I am not sure that it's the best place to meet women on a regular basis. Particularly when I don't have many - if any at all - friends to go with. They are almost always doing other things.I'm friends with a girl who is only a year younger than me. We share a lot in common and is an amazing person. However, she has been in a relationship now for two or so years. I digress.With online dating, the information you decide to put out there makes it easy to compare against desired criteria. The caveat is for younger men such as myself, you are unable to attract other women since their desired age for the opposite sex is usually 23 or 24 at minimum. Even if they are younger.So, in short: a) How do I get over this age barrier and find women who I can interact with, (b) what can I do to improve myself and become more attractive to groups relevant to me, and c) where are the best places for someone like me to do such?Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2015): Ok I'm only a few years older than you, 29 just bought my first house and been in my career for 4 years after college. I wouldn't be looking for someone who wants to go and party but someone established in their career and has a steady income like myself. Men don't really get to the stage of settling down until at least their 30s. That's what women my age look at sorry but we see your age as been there done that stage. Why not find a girl your own age group and at the same stage in life so you can go through things together?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): It's not really so much the age-factor. Most guys over 25 already have a college-degree and a stable job. They are beyond their "wild oats" phase, and are more settled and mature. Nothing is further from the truth, but theoretically speaking.
It's hard dating a younger guy on a fixed-budget. Dates have to be scheduled around studying for exams. If you go clubbing, he gets checked for ID, when she doesn't!!! That's embarrassing for a girl in her twenties. Then you haven't had a lot of experience, and she needs a feeling of security. Some ladies don't mind taking the wheel; but she still needs a guy who can take charge. So they stick within their age-group and older. So you have to wait until you find one who is more flexible in that area. Enjoy ladies your own age in the meantime. Don't be so dead-on specific about older-women. No wonder you're spinning your wheels.
You have to be patient. Finding a match is a matter of timing, and there has to be a chemistry between two people for anything to happen. If you're mature for your age, that's usually all it takes. It is beyond me how you can be attending university, and don't know where to find women. I'm gay, and I graduated university years ago. I attend games, lectures, alumni events, plays, socials hosted by our local colleges here; and all I see are women everywhere!
I think the problem is you're too shy. That can be crippling in the dating scene my friend! You've got to man-up, and approach a few ladies. Online dating gives you lots of choices, but they have to be interested in the first-place. So it takes effort and patience no matter what.
You grow older by the day, that's working in your favor.
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