A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i'm 14 years old and i fancy my business studies teacher i really really want to get over him because he's 42 or 43 and it's silly fancying a teacher but i can't and thats the problem. every time i go into his class i can't stop gazing into his eyes and looking at his body, i tell myself to stop but i just can't and i get the feeling in my stomach and everything, it makes me feel sick when he comes near me, especialy when he comes and checks your work. i always tell my friends that i hate him and say he's horrible and take the mick, but that's because i don't want them to find out otherwise they'll tease me and tell him. when i'm not thinking of him he's always there and that makes me think of him again. sometimes when i'm in his class i feel like crying i don't know why i just do, and on valentines day i felt sorry for him because he has no wife,girfriend and he is a bit sad, maybe thats the reason i'm drawn to him. sometimes when me and my friends are eating lunch (we sit right outside of the business studies block on a bench) he walks (as to get a cup of tea or his lunch and i can't stop laughing at him, i think it's coz my friends do it too, it makes me feel really bad becuase he always looks really sad and never smiles, but he's always nice to me and i wish he would be horrible sometimes to make me hate him. this sounds really strange but i hate him badly but fancy him badly. Plaese can someone help me and give me advice on how to try and get over him i'd really appreciate it thanxs!!
View related questions:
my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): i know what you mean, i'm in the exact same position.
i also have a crush on my business studies teacher, he always looks sad but when he smiles it makes you want to smile too.
i laugh at my friends too when they say he's good looking or fit and i joke he is too because i dont want them to know what my true feelings are.
i know it's difficult to just forget them and how you feel about them, but you've got to accept that you can never have them.
the more you think about them and the more you want them, and if you keep up wanting them so much for a while, you start to drift from it. and try to stay away from them too, but still get the little glimpses of them, although these may still contain strong feelings, they're not the feelings you had when you first liked them.
i've had to do that with a previous relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): I had a crush on my teacher a while back. Im 15, and he is 49, and thats quite a large age difference. Even now when I see him in the hallways or around the school, or in lessons, I smile and carry on, unless he stops me for a chat. That way, your not left feeling stupid or regretting something you said.
It will take ages to get over him, especially if he still teaches you and even when you see him talk to other girls, just remember, he is their teacher aswell.
Because he is your teacher, perhaps you feel responsible for him being lonely?
Instead of focusing on how sad he is, and how much you feel sorry for him, why not try focusing on his bad points? Try noticing them everything you look at him, and you may find your feelings end pretty quick because you can longer see the attractiveness.
I've had a crush on my teacher since christmas. Okay, its only been a few months, but when he teaches you 4 times a week, and takes lots of cover lesssons, and you 'coincidentally' bump into him around school, and you are always chatting to him about anything, it is really hard to get over them.
Just remember, life moves on. When your his age, he is goin to be MUCH older. Its 99% not true love.
Just focus on the bad points!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Well, it is going to be hard to get over him. Believe me.
I've loved my teacher for the past three years, and I've tried countless times to get over him.
The best thing to do is find someone your own age, or write why you like/love him in a letter then throw it away. You'll feel better.Well, the truth is, even if you throw that letter away, those feelings will still be there...BUT you will have control over your emotions. You'll be able to act normally around him.
My situation is 10 times more complicated than yours. My teacher is 45, (i'm 17), he's married and recently, his wife had a baby. So you can imagine how busy he is.
He's flirted with me sometimes, and i've known him since he was engaged! Well, in the past year I've tried to stay far away from him. (in hopes of getting over him) (nope, still doesn't work) But he has been noticing this. He seems sad when I leave class, and even when i don't look at him when i leave class i always hear him talking to someone, but then he has that awkward pause in his sentence. it happens a lot. (it may be that he is looking at me, lost his place in words, or is looking for something idk)
We used to be really close, before i decided to distance myself from him. In all honesty, i really miss him. And it doesn't help that there is a possibility that i might be leaving this year.
Well, just write the letter like i said. it does help.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): we all get drawn in by our emotions, we dont choose who we fall for ALL people have had crushes on teachers-it's common to obsess over your teacher, you feel like crying because you have a strong infactuation with him-any strong feelings you think you have for him are most definitely caused by this infactuation. Therefore, it will wear off and months, years later you will look back and not even remember the feelings you had for him and wonder if they were ever even there. Trust me, i have fancied more than a few teachers in my experience and i know from this. Treat him how you would treat others, relax aroud him, be pleasant and friendly towards him-that way you will feel less guilty that he looks sad and have a good sense of morality, which makes you loads happier. I believe that love can happen between anyone however with teachers it's complicated, they can lose their job, livelyhood etc. remember that many others have jumped in there, just because they want a cheap thrill out of seducing a teacher or fulfilling fantasies, not really caring about them. be strong and you will come out a better person x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): This feeling is natural - I mean, whether they deny it or not, everyone's had a crush on a teacher at some time in their lives. There's something about teachers that make you like them. Whether its because you know they are out of bounds and this draws you in, or it makes you feel naughty, or because you are around them so much and you know they are the people to protect you when you need it.
And it's natural to feel sorry for teachers too! But in school, he's always going to be the one left out or took the mick out of because he's a teacher, not a pupil. Teachers arent meant to fit in, they're meant to stand out and have control and, well, teach! etc etc. It's good that you know he's out of bounds, and there's no chance you could get with him, so keep telling yourself this, and I assure you, this crush will pass. I'm almost positive he is not the one you have been destined to spend the rest of your life with, so remember this next time you see him.
Answer me this honey, who DOES look happy at work?! Maybe he IS a bit lonely, but he might just prefer being by himself. One of his pupils cannot fill any loneliness he might be feeling - to him, you're just another pupil he has to teach. Not an answer to his problems.
So think of him like an ex - you might have feelings for him still, but he's out of bounds, and you need to get over him using the same techniques. Here's an article you might find useful http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html and just remember, many girls feel like you do, but get over this feeling and carry on with their lives. This is what you must do honey :] good luck with everything.
...............................
|
