A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 27 year old woman and it never really bothered me up until now to think that I never experienced teenage love. I have dated men in my college years, but seem to think what it would have been like to have that naive tender teen love.I was kind of nerdy, weird, and unattractive at the time, and no boys seemed to like me back. In college, it was a total 180 and I felt recognized.My parents didn't let me have a boyfriend, so I ruled it out of my head completely for fear of getting trouble. I spent so much time studying and focusing on school and extracurriculars, which I don't regretBut...I wish I was able to watch the sunset while sitting on the grass and being held and kissed by a modest 15 year old boy who saw me as the greatest thing ever. Id love to have been able to think I can walk into the halls after the bell rings and see my boyfriend fro afar, and give him a great big hug and be those people that kiss under the tree. I wish I could have been looked at with excited and happy eyes. While I know it may not have been perfect, maybe that type of love must have been so special and exciting.I can't go back in time, but if I could I wish I could do it differently knowing what I know now. It just doesn't seem the same when you're an adult. Recently, I got a similar butterflies in your stomach feeling of teen-like infatuation that I haven't felt since high school. It is with an adult male I see around from time to time but he is taken so it will never happen.How can I get over feeling like I missed out? I know some of you may say "Not all teen love is great--a lot of it is cringe" but I'm talking about missing gout on the GOOD kind.Thank you to everyone Reply to this Question
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (21 November 2020):
My wife was also a total nerd, and a total late bloomer. She didn't even have anyone interested in her in high school for a single date. She only really blossomed a few months before I met her. And when I did, that was it. I changed my life to be with her for the rest of my life.
You are actually really lucky not to have the pain of high school romances. They can jade you. And because of that, the guy you meet will be very very lucky.
I hope you can see how crazy lucky you are. But you felt it, those butterflies, just with the wrong guy. The key is to get out to places where you can find the right guy. When you look back, and you never divorce, you'll actually realize how fortunate you are. I hope you do now.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (15 November 2020):
 We all have a past, we all look back on our teens, and wonder would things have been different if i had done this, or done that.
While we all have memories, i think its important now to look forward and not back. Leave the past in past where it belongs and move forward with your life.
The things you describe that you think that you have missed out on, i assure you that you can achieve these feelings in your adult life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2020):
 I didn't start dating until 19, I simply wasn't ready, mature or even all that interested.
I don't feel I have "missed out on anything". While I wasn't a fan of my daughters dating in high-school (that is age 14-18) the two youngest both dated. The youngest made 2 MAJOR mistakes in dating two asshats (seriously) and while I HATE that she got hurt, it wasn't all that serious but I think they both were GOOD lessons in WHO to NOT date in the future when it actually counts. My middle one has also dated two guys, both who are awesome. She is still friends with the ex and he occasionally stops by for a cup of coffee and chat, even if she isn't home. Super good kid. So I know that THAT one (my middle daughter) had a good compass when it comes to picking a partner. Hopefully she can rub off on the younger one.
My oldest who is 20 has absolutely no interest in dating. She has been asked out and gone on a few first dates but didn't see the point in going on a second.
You don't know that YOU would have gotten the "good kind" of relationship. So you are regretting things you can't change (your past) and regretting that the fantasy you have now of teenage relationships didn't happen for you.
BOTH are a waste of your time.
You are 27, not 97, for goodness sake! You can definitely still find someone who will make YOU excited and who will be excited over you.
Stop living in the past, the more you spend time looking back, the longer you are going to miss out what is right in front of you.
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