A
male
age
,
*atchgrip1
writes:I am a soon to be 47 year old male, and I would greatly appreciate some insight in regard to my current situation. I have been married now for 7 years (second marriage) and I have always had a strong sex drive, and still do. Sex is very important to me for many reasons, and I have never had any complaints in that department from my wife, or any other women that I have spent time with in the past prior to marriage. I have not suffered from the "proposed" lack of testoterone as I have grown into my mid forties, and for me, sex is quite pleasureable not only for me, but for my wife as well. I am healthy, in shape, and quite attractive, with no physical incapabilities at all. What I have experienced with this marriage is that my wife has no idea how to seduce me, or how to actually "make the first move" in regard to intimacy. The honeymoon was exciting, but as we all know, it doesn't seem to last forever, but it sure would be nice if it did! It is a powerful turn-on for a man when his wife or lover actually becomes sexually suggestive. It makes for an amazing session of love making, yet I'm the one who must become suggestive, and for me, that is frequent. I am fortunate if I am intimate with my wife once a month, and sometimes, there is no sex at all for many weeks. We have three children, two of which are teenagers, and one five year old. Yes, we both have strong careers, and have high profile positions in our professions, but we are not workoholics. We have time to spend in the evenings, yet, when I am in the mood for a great love making session, I get minimal response. I am perfectly fine talking about this with her, but she doesn't seem to be concerned and it turns into an uncomfortable conversation and it seems to fall on deaf ears. as I mentioned, there is no problem with me when it comes to performance, so I am quite taken by this problem. She is not in any stage of menopause at all, so I am quite confused, and to say the least, extremely frustrated. I have never ever been un-faithful to my wife or any woman that I have ever been in a relationship with, however, I have had more than my share of opportunities as I have grown older. It seems that women my age that I know or have met don't seem to have any inhibitions and regard sex as an important part of their lives right now, especially in our 40's. My wife does not, and I am very concerned. I am getting tired of trying to discuss this, and I am running out of ideas. The ironic part of this is that when we are out, there are ladies who have no problem flirting with me, and she becomes extremely defensive and shows her obvious insecurities when this happens. I find this upsetting, disturbing and frustrating. Any suggestions would be quite helpful!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 dear friends, I have read from romantic writers, who collectively express the view against marriage-that marriage is deathbed of romance.
I truly want to correct your idea about romance. Everything is romance that excite desire. A good poetry, a good pictures, A good movie, a good dialog delivery...if it excite desire.
Then, why marriage kill the romance? You have plain answer, that both became too much familiar. Husband wife is in a good position to see each other in their nudity...they have straight sex, which begin with erection and finished with ejaculations...It go on like this...but sure it will became soon a mechanism. How efficient a machine can be, but it cannot create romance, it is unable to inspire poetry, unable to inspire exciting dialog, the drama, ....
Considering above, you draw your own conclusion, which will amount to say...forget about old method of sex...that start with erections and finished with ejaculations. Better you start with erections, and play with erections and leave it in middle. Talk with her but not in a tone of demand, but wanted to see smile on her face. Slowly slowly her subconscious mind will understand the meaning of romance...and begin to response.
I also suggest you to read my articles on Tantra... of course, I have to edit them and make them more meaningful...but time being it will give you good guidance.
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