A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 16 years old and have now been with my boyfriend for over 1 year and my mother still won't allow me to stop over night at his house, how can I get her to trust me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 I'm so sorry... I know how this feels... I REALLY do. For all four years of high school I dated the same boy, and we had agreed NOT to even have sex, and never did those 4 years until after we graduated and were 18. The whole time my parents wouldn't let him sleep over, and the few times when it was necessary he would have to be in the basement while my room was on the 2nd floor. It drove me insane, and I too always asked my parents why they didn't trust me, etc, ESPECIALLY because we weren't even haveing sex.I am now 21 and dating a 25 year old and we've been together about 2 years now.... and he's still not allowed overnight at all..... even though I sleep in the same bed when I'm at his parent's place. Luckily, however, we have been saving up some money and will be getting an apartment sometime soon and will thus live together.why did I tell you all of this?So you could understand that some parents are just like this.... and nothing you do will change it, no matter how good a kid you are (I never did anything wrong, or stayed out late and always got grades in the 90s or higher, etc). So if your parents don't lighten up.... try not to hate them. If at all possable, try to see things from there point of view.... and think what you would do, what you would REALLY do if you were a parent with a daughter asking you the same thing. Sure you might let her have her guy over, etc, but unfortunitly it is their decision what happens in their house. I thought for sure when I was 18... and then when I was 21 (!!!) that they wouldn't mind anymore.... but they still do. So start saving money now until you can afford your own place and make your own rules. In the meantime..... good luck... its hard to deal with... and believe me, i am SO glad I'm about to get an apartment because of this one issue (evenything else with my parents is fine).So... yeah.... even though you hate it, and even though you think its unnessary and that they don't trust or respect you or that they are just treating you like a young little kid, they are trying to protect you because they love you. ...grummble... even though me and my guy of 4 years werent even having sex... grummble....huuggggsss
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 March 2007):
 Let her know you're 16 years old now and SENSIBLE! Sit with her and have a chat with her over coffee and let her know that you're not naive about sex and everything it entails, you would never sleep with him without contraception. If she doesn't want him stopping over when he's under her roof then you will respect that but you are old enough now to make your own decisions and she needs to trust that you are sensible too. Hopefully after your talk together she'll realise that her little IS growing up!
Eve
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