A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Ever since getting together with my girlfriend, there have been problems.All she basically has ever done is lied, flirted, broke promises, totally disrespected me and slept around. Me being me, I took her back over 60 times, yet she still continues to hurt me.We had been ok for a few weeks, then yesterday she tells me that she would like to have sexual experience with guys her own age. She is in her teens, but her only sexual experiences are with guys in their 20s and 30s. I am in my 20s.She says she wants to have sort of an open relationship, so she can sleep with who she wants, but is scared that I might fall for somebody else.We were arguing anyway, because her ex is trying to get her back. I eventually told her to f**k off, to which she was straight on the phone to her ex. I tried to phone her for half an hour afterwards, but she was on the phone with him. She eventually said that she did this to hurt me. (like she hasn't hurt me enough already)I love her more than I have ever loved anybody.How can I get this horrible lying slapper out of my head? I wish I had never met her, I feel like she has ripped my heart out. I just want to find someone who loves me for me, who will never lie or cheat.She is still begging me to take her back, but I know this is only because she knows how much I loved her and nobody would ever be so stupid as to fall for her again. How can somebody be so evil to treat me this way when all I have done is love her?
View related questions:
flirt, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): my ex-girlfriend was like that, she was beautiful, guys talk her up all the time... all she does was spend my money though... she likes to play games with men, all men, she told me I was different of course, which was a lie... all liesthe trouble is, she believes her own lies, lying is so ingrained in her, she cannot tell truth apart from lies, and many times I believed her again and again... she believes it herself... but it is her nature to lie and twist and play with men... she CANNOT live without MEN...she always have excuses... but her excuses were truths in her mind, while my truths were lies... you accuse her of lying, she can twist those words back and accuse you of lying, of not loving her enough, of flirting with other people...many times she accuses me of the things I have never done but she does a plentyBUT GOD, she was beatiful, very good in bed too, so good, god, I miss her... it hurts all the more so because I've invested so much time and money on her, at least 40000 dollars and 4 years...it hurts time and again... even though I'm now married, everyday stuff like swimming, playing video games can make me think of her and it hurts me again and again... there is no escape
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has NEVER physically hit me, I am a little insure as to where that misinterpretation came about.
I have been firm with her, if she steps out of line again, she KNOWS I will cut her off completely. She has been totally different and asks me every day if I feel loved.
I know she has learned her lesson, albeit a hard one. I have probably made her sound worse than she was.
Thank you to ALL who have responded, you have certainly given me food for thought. I sent her the link to this thread, so she could see how people perceived her actions. It appears to have worked. She is ashamed of the way she treated me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has NEVER physically hit me, I am a little insure as to where that misinterpretation came about.
I have been firm with her, if she steps out of line again, she KNOWS I will cut her off completely. She has been totally different and asks me every day if I feel loved.
I know she has learned her lesson, albeit a hard one. I have probably made her sound worse than she was.
Thank you to ALL who have responded, you have certainly given me food for thought. I sent her the link to this thread, so she could see how people perceived her actions. It appears to have worked. She is ashamed of the wat she treated me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): Just be careful and watch out for any warning signs. This is someone who physically hit you and may just be on her best behavior, which will only last for a few months, then she will be back to her old tricks. You do not deserve to be with someone who lies, cheats and physically hits you. Someone who does that has poor character. Don't be mistaken.
You may see this behavior again, and I wouldn't be surprised. If she does any of it again, CUT HER OFF. No Internet, phone or in-person contact. Delete her number from your cell and have the phone company block her calls if you have to. Pack all her shit up in a box and put it in your closet out of sight. If she still bothers you, tell her that you will get a restraining order. If she doesn't listen, file the papers and get one.
This sounds like someone who is selfish and possibly dangerous. Please heed my warning. Get away from the DRAMA. After awhile, it gets old.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI eventually took her back about 2 weeks ago. She is like a completely different person now, she has had chances to cheat and did not even contemplate it, her ex came on MSN and she told him to just stay out of her life. Every day, she is more loving than she has ever been. I am glad I gave her this chance and feel she won't let me down again. She says she realises how stupid she was and will NEVER act like that again. I find myself believing what she says to me, whereas the trust was never there prior. It really does feel like I am with somebody else now. Every day, she is texting me telling me how much she loves me.
I truly believe she has changed, something I never thought would happen. Maybe I am setting myself up to be hurt again, but at the moment I am happier than I have ever been.
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 Leaving her will hurt and you will suffer from your decision for a while but you will get over her and move on from her and be happier from this, giving you the freedom to meet someone else that can love and respect you how you deserve to be, where as staying with her will cause more hurt and disappointment and she will continue to mess with you and your head.
We all have to make hard choices on relationships that are causing us more pain and hurt than walking away ever would.
Good luck and I hope you find someone that can love you totally and for who you are :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
Leaving her will hurt and you will suffer from your decision for a while but you will get over her and move on from her and be happier from this, giving you the freedom to meet someone else that can love and respect you how you deserve to be, where as staying with her will cause more hurt and disappointment and she will continue to mess with you and your head.
We all have to make hard choices on relationships that are causing us more pain and hurt than walking away ever would.
Good luck and I hope you find someone that can love you totally and for who you are :o)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): in a word. get rid!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your excellent advice Toria. I think you are 100% correct in everything you just said.
I do need to walk away from her, I really do. There were many reasons where I felt fate was to blame for us staying together so long, (almost a year). I wont go into the reasons, but I think I will be happier without her. Leaving her will destroy me, but staying with her will destroy me much quicker. Thanks Toria, you have just sorted my problem out.
...............................
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 September 2006):
Chances are she was straight on the phone to her ex because she is scared of being alone and you told her where to go so she went to her ex to make sure she isn't alone, she wants an open relationship probably because of this same fact, she doesn't want to be with you anymore but doesn't want to be alone or anyone else to have you so keeping you there in an open relationship with her secures what she needs and keeps you unhappy and not knowing where you are or what your doing, she sounds to me like she enjoys the effect she has on you and enjoys the fact no matter what she does you are still there loving her taking her back and because you keep taking her back she probably thinks that she can get away with anything.
You need to walk away from her and cut all ties from her or you will forever be someone she just uses and abuses.
Good luck :o)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe told him that she did not want to get back with him because she loves me and is not going to cheat. She was on speaker so I did hear it.
I just don't know what to do, I love her and hate her at the same time. I want her out of my life but don't think I can live without her.
Please help!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks
She is on MSN begging me to take her back, well she was just before her ex phoned her again, so she is quite busy with him at the moment. She says she has told him about me, yay for me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (24 September 2006):
Sorry, I might not be much help.
Think about it. This girl has completely taken advantage of you, used you, and only thought about herself. You didn't derserve that and you don't deserve it again.
Try to think less about her, and get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Everytime she calls or you want to call her, think about all the pain she put you through. She needs to learn that it's not ok to do this to someone when they so clearly haven't done anything to deserve it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Keeley +, writes (24 September 2006):
 Hiya
Well I guess you are in a bit of a predicament here!
Ok the facts as raw as they are are 1 she wants to see other guys and have sexual relationships with them. 2 she knows that the past expereience with you you have always taken her back.
Basically you are her comfort zone you will always be there for her regardless of how much she hurts you.
The question you need to ask yourself is "do you want to continually be hurt by her or anyone else for that matter". Yes life is about choices and how we react to those choices, so you say your feeling hurt and babe I can tell you from my own experiences I know it hurts like hell, but you have to be strong as each dy is another tough challenge you need to look afer yourself and put your feelings first if she cannot respect you and love you the way you should be loved and respected then my opinion would be to 1. Tell her you are not going to be treated like this by anyone and 2. Find yourself someone for you.
Everytime you get tempted and you will to call her or meet her or be with her just remember the pain and sufferring she has caused you before you contact her again.
Either way give yourself a break maybe go on holiday or go out with your friends and try and remember what it was like before her then make your final decision and best of luck babe, remember you are a person with feelings and you deserve to be treated with respect and not to be taken for granted.
Big Love (let me know what you decided to do.)
Keeley (smile)
...............................
|
