A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't get over the love of my life. It may sound weird but we never actually went out together but hes been my life for the past 2 and a half years! I have wrote up before asking for your advice about his behaviour, i wont write it out all again and bore you but he basically was very different with me. One minute very quiet, sometimes shy, and would only speak to the others. HE made so much effort with our friends but i barely got spoken to. Afew things happened between us and we got very close and there was also a point where something he said made out he was getting jealous over me messing round with a mate.All in all the majority of you and my friends that i told have all said he likes me but doesnt know how to say it. He is a quiet guy in general but i never understood because he was fine with any other girl or any person, depending on who he was with would depend on how confident he was. Anyway everyone said he definately likes you.They were wrong...well i think. I finally got the courage to tell him and i text him explaining i still felt that way for him and there were times i felt he did to. He didnt text back but then i sent another afew days later saying im sorry please talk to me. He text back saying what are you sorry for lol!. I asked him why he avoided the subject and that i just wanted to know the truth. He said i told you im sorry but i dont want a relationship with you but want to be friends. I asked him what was going on back then and everything and at first i didnt get a reply until i said i miss how things used to be and all he said was well times change and i cant change from how i am. (note: he didnt even care to explain what went on back then) So i asked him to be honest with me and say if he did feel anything back then after what happened and he said hes never felt that way for me. So all i said was confused over how he was with me as friends because he was so quiet then the next he seemed to want more. and that anyone woulda thought he wanted me from how he acted. All he could say is yh im sorry if ive hurt you but he just wants to be friends.The relationship convo more or less ended at that i told him how i felt as a friend with his weird behaviour and that i was the one that always made the effort and i feel like he doesnt care. I said will you meet me sometime to talk and he said yeah when hes got some free time. I do know he is very busy atm. But he never said anything to what i said about our friendship.I need help sorting my head out. Im so depressed no one udnerstands all i can do is think about our good times and cry. I never feel like eating because i feel sick, The thought of him cudled up with somoen else has physically made me sick afew times, i guess its worse that ive been cuddled up to him myself. I need to get over him but i still want to be friends. The main reason being hes made me who i am, i miss him constantly and we have the same mates so it wont work out if i cut contact.Thing is i dont know if its worth it if im going to be the only one making the effort to meet up etc But thats what i need to sort with him. Im going to try and talk to him in person but what can i say to him to sort this frienship out?Also i have left it abit late to tell him. He hasnt told me but ive seen messages on his website from this older girl/woman that hes seeing(he told my mate). Yet he wont say to me hes seeing someone?? yet we;re meant to be good friends. How can i get over him?Also i know this is irrelivant but please give me your opinion, notice how when i asked him what went off back then he never answered. He could at least say i did back then but dont now. Thje fact he said he never did and yet for this long he seems like he has to everyone has really messed me up. He seriously showed and and tbh i could go back to years ago when it was obvious he started to like me. Yet he says hes never. Do you also not find that strange? But the bottom line is i guess if he did like me he'd say even if he didnt wanna be with me just incase anything happened in the future?Pleasde dont take this the wrong way, hes not a player infact hes a christain, hes just really strange with me and i dont know what to do for the best. Hes the only one ive ever loved. My firend even said it wasnt in your head. He defo liked you and he probably likes you more than he will say. But as i say why would he say he never has, as that kind of says he never will. Please help i need my life back EVERYTHING reminds me of him!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 I have to agree with Ask Oldersister. You've pushed on this guy long enough and it's pretty clear to me that he is NOT interested and never was. It's been built up in your head to be more than it was.
If this has been going on for the last 2 years and you are now experiencing physical symptoms as well as depression, I'd say it is time you sought professional help. This isn't normal, this is obsessive thinking and you are turning into a stalker, if you aren't already.
Please ask for a referral for counseling and do it right away. It's not fun or enjoyable for us to be this blunt with someone but your distress isn't going away by itself and so it is time to call in professional help.
Post back when you've made an appointment, okay? Good luck.
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