A
male
age
30-35,
*athan663
writes:i have been dating a girl for 8 months when last night she told me she wanted to break up. The reason she gave was that she had a lot of things going on in her head and she couldn't sort everything out whilst being in a relationship. she said it would be unfair on me. I absolutely love her to bits, and i really dont want to lose her. Her sister told me she had spoken to her about it and from what she has said she really is confused about everything. but she said she was happy in the relationship, which is why i dont understand why she broke it off. IS this something i might be able to sort out? what is the best thing to do from here on?She bought me a flying lesson for my birthday which i will be using on thursday (she still wants to come with me) is this a good idea? every one thinks i should have no contact... i don't know what to do for the best... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): I think you just need to give her some time off away from you, since your birthday is coming up real soon, just go ahead and take that flying lesson on your own, she can't really go with you anyway I don't believe....so just go enjoy yourself. Then you might write her a hand written note, saying you understand that you both need time apart and that you thought she was ready for a relationship but apparantly you were wrong....and that everything happens for a reason. Thank her for the great birthday gift and sign it and then mail it to her.
Don't call her for about three weeks, give her some time to miss you, and let her see that you aren't needy and can live without her....and she will see what life without you is like....and I am sure if she didn't have any unhappiness in the relationship that she will either call you first, or she will be glad to hear from you when you call.
Just be cool and play your heart a little close to the vest or you risk pushing her further away....she's told you she needs time off, now give her what she wants.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): dude i had that same problem she broke it of and i got all sad and emotional hell im 16 dating a 20 year old with a baby boy and shes married but enough about me look this is what u gota do let her go with u hopefully she'll change her mind just let her know that youll always be there for her no matter what and if she doesnt understand then she doesnt deserve a guy like u i was in your position once but we got back toghether but then she broke it of because of her mom and she said i was lying 2 her about things which i wasnt but dont do anything dont plan anything give it time like 2 more weeks and if not then just talk 2 her talking 2 her is your best shot but dont talk 2 her until she wants 2 talk if she doesnt thats when u move in if this was totaly useless email me back and ill try 2 put in a way u can understand alright laters
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A
female
reader, niki20  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 From a womens point of view, she probably has feelings for you still and doesnt want to be far from you. She may be in a "tight" spot and needs just a breather, ive been there. I think that you should be there to support her for whatever reasons she needs to be supportive. I believe that you guys could work it out. If she was happy then there is no reason for you two to loose all contact with her. If she is willing you guys could be friends and work everything out. good luck. Let me know how it goes.
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