A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:so i have this one friend i will call hannah. not her real name. she does not flirt w boys so me and our other friend nevaen (not her real name) have to make her. we will say we are going to the ice rink to watch a hockey game and accidentally-on-purpose arrange for a guy to meet up w us and then decide to go somewhere else once we indroduce them. problem is that hannah wants to abandon the guy and go WITH us, which is real alloying bc the POINT want to set her up with him. so then we all have to actually go around and look at shoes or whatever we said (the hockey game is in an ice rink in the mall). Or, we all go to lunch and she insists on paying her own way or wasting call minutes calling her parents to tell them ... i mean ASK them if she can go to the food court instead of getting a haircut. So we hae a birthday party and we manage to get her to talk to some guy we PURPOSELY set her up with and when he tells her the music is to loud so they canno talk and can thay go her someone's room she takes him OUTSIDE in front of a picture window and then says "don't kiss me in front of people" ... well, that defeats the point. IS she gay or something? The POINT is to get her someone to kiss or at least not be around us so much. She is really annoying and talks too much She refuses to flirt with guys or else flirts too much and won't date him. So obviously she needs a boyfriend What's wrong with her?
View related questions:
flirt Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2015): Why don't you let her have your boyfriend for a bit, if you're so keen on finding her a man?!! After all - what are friends for?
As CindyCares says - people of your age all grow up (- as you & your friend are currently doing) at different rates.
Adolescents become sexually active or mature at different times. Just because one may be sexually active (which they shouldn't be as at that age as they are still developing), it doesn't mean they all are. Some girls your age are just looking at the opposite sex - but not wanting to be fully involved and some just aren't interested at all yet - because yes - believe it or not - they still are children!!
So step back & let your friend make her own decisions - not yours!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2015): Boy I'm glad I don't have a friend like you. I can see why you are in the 13 - 15 age group - as you just haven't grown up yet!!
Why on earth do you think you know what someone else needs or wants? Firstly - it is none of your business & secondly - if your friend does want a boyfriend I'm sure she'll be able to find one herself in good time without having an interfering old friend to help her!!
I think match.com may have a vacancy - I would apply if I were you!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2015): I was like your, um, friend at that age. I used to be friends with a girl who thought I was weird because I didn't have a boyfriend and one day she marched right up to a boy and said 'do you fancy her' and he turned around and went 'no way but I like you'. Must have been one of the most embarrassing days up to then.When I was about 16 and started liking boys and wanted a boyfriend I had absolutely no problem in getting one. I think you're being a bit harsh.I don't want to sound mean as I'm a 30 year old woman and you are so young but I don't think you should really be friends any more. I'm sure she feels really awkward with you doing this and I feel a bit sorry for her. I had no interest what so ever in having a boyfriend at that age, I'm certainly not gay and you have so much time to be getting a boyfriend. I suggest she goes and gets new friends instead.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 September 2015):
 Your age bracket , 13 - 15 ,is a very mixed bag, we go from girls who are already sexually active ( btw, if you ask me I think it's a very bad idea ),up to the other end of the spectrum , girls who want nothing to do with boys and flirting and romance .
Your friend may be among them. She does not " need " a boyfriend, and it's not important that she has one, just because it is or it would be important for you and the other friends.
Srop rushing her, stop pushing her.If she is not interested, respect that; or do you think she has to find a bf just to please you ??
It may also be that she is not that crazy about the guys you are trying to fix her up with. Again,let her be , she knows what she likes, and probably the guys to whom you want to fob her off aren't her type. In which case, kudoos to her standing up to peer pressure and not grabbing any " meh " guy whatsoever just to fit in socially.
I can see, though, that the problem here is not really your friend 's singletude, but this "friend " not really being considered a friend by you , since you find her annoying . Maybe she is, and you have a range of options for dealing with the problem, from tryng having patience because nobody is perfect and we all have faults, to being diplomatic and inching away from her gradually, to being blunt and telling her to tune it down with the blabbering , to any other way your fantasy suggests you.
But the mandatory pairing, no , it's unjust and as you have seen won't work anyway.
...............................
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (9 September 2015):
I hope my daughter who 8 is like your friend when say she between 13 to 15. What is the rush .. sweetie ? Yes a little practice flirting can be good for later in life but it's not really needed .. being good friends and enjoying each other company is .. you sound like a nice girl too and you want the best for your friend ..but you have to understand she isn't ready .. be as sweet as I think you are and tell her it's okay if she doesn't want to ..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): your friend does not need a boyfriend. your age group 13-15 you do not need. be a real friend to her and stop planning her life for her.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): It sounds like your friend needs new friends not a boyfriend. She does not have to flirt or like, or even talk to the boys you are setting her up with. She sounds perfectly happy being single-something you could learn from. If you find her annoying and too talkative don't hang out with her and let her find friends that enjoy her company with out trying to make her get a boyfriend.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2015): Nobody needs a partner.. it is down to their own choice . Also being at that age she has plenty of time to do what she wants .
why don't you focus on your own life rather than hers?
what you are doing is unfair to her and puts her in awkward situations.
...............................
A
female
reader, Zoroll +, writes (9 September 2015):
 I know it's hard when you want your friends to be happy and you may feel like you're trying to help your friend, but you have to step back for a bit and let her take her own love life into her own hands. If she needs help and advice I'm sure she would ask you for help but until then you're gonna have to let her find out what she wants herself!
Hope it goes on ok for you!
...............................
|
