A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all!Right im 16 and ive been with my boyfriend for around 8 months, ive nown him since i was around 7.When i was 15 years old i did some bad things, i went on holiday and got in with the wrong crowd, it was 4 weeks of alcohol and boys, i completley regret letting all myself respect go, although i did make sure i kept my virginity until i met someone special. Well when i was in france i got drunk and a boy un- did my bikini top whilst another boy took a photo. When me and my boyfriend first got together i told him everyfink that i regretted and had done so there was no secrets and i guess just so i could really tell someone i trusted how ashamed of myself i was.He accepted it all and comforted me, ( i lost my virginty to my boyfriend and vice versa) but now hes become really funny about my past, he keeps bringing it up and gettin really jealous about it, and its really upsetting me as i really regret it and what to leave it in the past.. a couple of times he reduced me to tears and then he gets really emotional and says hes sorry and he loves me over and over again.Ive said if he cant accept my past then to leave me but he says he does accept it, he just hates the idea of his girlfriend with other people and them taking advantage of me, how can i show him that my past is upsetting me and i cant take much more of it being dragged up and chucked in my face? whats a mans point of view, what do you think hes thinking? thank you xx
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male
reader, Big-b  +, writes (4 September 2008):
Hi I am a guy and I know how he feels.My gf did the same stuff before she met me.I would always ask her about her past and drives her crazy.I love her to death and I wasnt asking about her past to put her down or make her feel mad about it.It was shocking to me the things that she did and I got jealous at times.I would always ask her if I was good enough in bed and even worried about penis size.I still from time to time ask questions about her past and I shouldnt. Your bf loves you and thats why he is concerned about your past.I know for sure hes not using you.I would give him time to get over it.Something that helped me was my gf would show me attention.That would be a good thing for you to do.For example comment him sexually.He may feel another guy was better but I dont believe you said anything about messing around with anyone before him? If getting nude infront of a guy was all you did then I dont see that bad. I probably could help you out more if you sent me a message with more detail.I belive you have a great guy and seems alot like myself.
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (25 August 2008):
 Hi, I am sorry that you boyfriend is having a hard time with your past. I do hope that you two can work it out, he is having a problem, because he is wondering if he can trust you. It is a bit late with him, but my feeling is, though you are very young, it's really no one's business about your past. Do you think he will tell you about what he has done, and even if he does, that's his choice, it doesn't have to be yours. You know why I say that, because men judge women harsher than women judge men in relation to sex, it's a double standard. So if this relationship, does not work out, stop doing this confession thing. Go see your priest and confess to him. You will always have your boyfriend looking at you and wondering, is she going to do that again, and it can get on your nerves. So button up, and keep it to yourself, not all people are non-judgmental. Learn to be your own best friend. Take care and stay in touch.
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (25 August 2008):
 It's NORMAL and let me tell you, He LOVES YOU... !! It hurts a Guy's EGO when he imagines someone touching his girl sexually.. Hez actually thinking too much into it and probably thinking that you did much more... Then he feels that someone has touched you b4 and gets all UPSET... My baby, at 16 you CANT EXPECT anything better from him... This is ONE BIG REASON why most teenaged love stories end up cluless... He just can't let go off it until hez mature enough... He'll need to be 21 ATLEAST to understand and let go his EGO..At this tender age, its Difficult...;) But, hez WRONG to take your virginity and then talk all this stuff... But Frankly i don't expect much from himm....
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (24 August 2008):
 The only way he's gonna know how you feel is if you talk to him, hun.
Sit him down when things are okay between you and say "You know that there are things in my past that I'm not proud of and that I wish I'd not done, but I need you to listen to me now when I say that all this is in the past. It seems that you are getting upset sometimes about things that have happened in my past, all I want is for us to be okay so please can we draw a line in the sand and say that it is in the past and that we will try not to bring it up in future conversations. It upsets me when we talk about it. I regret it all so much and I just want a fresh start so please can we try not to talk about it anymore?"
I'm sure he'll open his heart to you too and that you can work on this. He needs to realise that you have put your past behind you and moved on and have no intention of returning to the person you were.
I think his main problem here is that he's jealous as other guys have seen you naked/slept with you and he's worried that you may not have changed your ways. I think he just needs reassuring.
This relationship doesn't seem at breaking point and I'm sure that if you both are strong enough and you choose the right words, just by talking about it will help a lot.
Take care and good luck xx
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A
female
reader, Tempz +, writes (24 August 2008):
Same thing happens to me really...
i knew this lad for years,
and when he came back from australia and moved back in england...
we got close and started dating.
we had a night of cemistry and i took his virginaty.
buh he is really possesive and jelous about my sexual past.
but what can i do.
when my virginaty is pure history
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