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How can I get my boyfriend to be a more considerate lover?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2007)
A female Canada age 51-59, *her writes:

My boyfriend and I have generally have sex at least once a day, although it's not always as fulfilling as I'd like it to be. My boyfriend masturbates to fall asleep and when he wakes up and doesn't take into consideration that I might want to have sex even though I've mentioned that I might like to play. He says it's habit and just wants to get off quickly. I'm feeling inedequate beacause it takes me too long and am now having problems relaxing. Am I taking this too personally?

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A male reader, agony_uncle_r United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2007):

theres nothing wrong with sex every day, and each and everytime can be earth moving (unlike the previous advice). what seems to be your problem is communication and confidence. if you wish to join him when he 'plays alone' then i dont suppose he'll object if you do, maybe you should initiate it. wake him up in a 'special' way.

sex can easily become stagnant and predictable and this is often down to people not telling each other wat they like. take it out of the bedroom, out of the same old positions and out of the same old routine.

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2007):

How can it be earthmoveingly fulfilling when you do it all the time. Take a break from the bedroom departent, dont have sex for a couple of days (or a week) and it should be more fufilling. I also have problem relaxing, perhaps its because he doesnt make you feel respected. Oh, and tell him what you want, dont just mention...demand it.

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