A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I want to start out by saying that I have been with this man for over 6 years, since I have been 18. I feel he doesn't want me anymore, he shows no affection. Sex is just get in and get out, seriously lasts 15 minutes. Other than that only time he touches me is to give me a kiss when he is leaving. I cry every day over all of this. I admit I have my faults, I like to play video games on the computer, especially World of Warcraft. My house is not immaculate, I have two children. I also have had issues with social anxiety. But over the last month I have worked really hard at improving myself. I cut almost all video game playing (mabye an hour a day.), cleaning much much more, and I have also been planning fun family events for us (such as the movies with the kids). I also leave him little notes saying that I love him and whatnot, give him back rubs, just different things to show that I love him. But no matter what I do NOTHING works, any suggestions to make him want me more? Or how to improve my situation?
View related questions:
video games, world of warcraft Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): yes, he really is a nice, sweet guy. But its my mistake that im trying to fix, but getting no results at all so im worried :(
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Sounds like you two are in a rut. Yeah, you don't have to "become perfect" in order to get affection. You have to gently and clearly tell your guy what you need. No hinting, no expecting him to read your mind. It's easy to get mad and think "He should know, and he should WANT to be affectionate" Sometimes guys just get oblivious. When they're no longer in "conquest" mode, they forget to do the basics. It's the guy equivalent of "letting themselves go". Here's what you do...make yourself mysterious (you can even do it with kids!). Refresh your wardrobe, get a hobby or go to the gym, and start talking about different things. That will get his attention big time. Be more self-confident. Don't let anxiety rob you of what you want and who you are.Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 May 2010):
 Was he affectionate in the beginning of your relationship?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): I hope this posts in the right spot, I have never used this site so i'm not exactly sure what im doing. Anyways, I appreciate your response! I agree he won't turn to mr perfect overnight, but I guess im just worried that its over. I can't even stand the thought of not being with him, I love him so much, he and my children are my world.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 May 2010):
I think you're expecting far too much far too soon. Just because you've changed or tried to change in the last month doesn't mean that he will. He's not suddenly going to turn from a cold man into Mr Perfect. It takes time. I think it's worth speaking to him and telling him that you feel like you need more love and reassurance. Sometimes men have to be told bluntly what woman want. Try talking to him and see how things change over the next two or three months. But don't expect it overnight just because you've done it.
...............................
|
