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female
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anonymous
writes: there is this lad in my college and i really like him he talks to me and everything but how do i get him to notice me as something more than just another person. he has also reccent broken up with his girlfriend who he went out with for a month. pleeeeeeez help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 January 2006):
 Well, you could try painting half of your face blue and the other half red, then stand on a desk singing "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean" whilst juggling flaming torches... That'd get him to notice you, right?
;-)
OK, that's maybe not what you mean.
But why are you asking how to do such a simple thing? You act as if getting a human male to notice a human female is like negotiating a private audience with His Holiness. Get a grip, OK? This guy's only another of our same species; he's not some god who'll to strike you down with a lightning bolt for daring to speak his name, you know! Just say go up to him after class one day and say, "Hi Dave. My name's Kerie. What do you think of Mr Perkins' lectures?"
From that point on, he'll know who you are.
The fact that he's broken up with his girlfriend is, for the time being, irrelevant, so it shouldn't affect the way you speak and act around him. Get to know him superficially, in a way that you can wave and smile across the quad, first. Treat him as if he was on his way to being your friend -- hopefully, he is -- and don't worry about romance this early on, because if the spark is there, things will develop of their own accord, and if the spark ISN'T there, nothing you can do will change that.
But don't be intimidated by talking to another person. Doing that automatically elevates him and puts you in an inferior position; that's just wrong. You're both equals, so get to know him as an equal. Be friendly and normal around him. If nothing else, that will be such a novelty that he'll remember you as "that girl that doesn't get all silly every time she says hi". And that's got to be a good thing.
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