A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have beeen very good friends with a guy for 3 years, we love spending time together and we can talk for hours about anything. For the first 2 years I had a boyfriend but unfortunately we split up a year ago. It took me about 7 months to get over the break up and in the last 5 months or so I've been having stronger and stronger feelings for my friend.A year or so ago our other friend told me that my best friend said I was his perfect girl but he wouldnt do anything because I was happy with my boyfriend and we were such good friends.I've always talked about guys with him and I've always advised him about girls. In the last couple of months he's been getting closer to a girl he's liked for a while. I'm made up for him and really want him to be happy with her.However, at the same time it's breaking my heart. I would never tell him how I feel while he's getting with this girl because I wouldnt want to ruin anything for him. But he's amazing and it'd make me the happiest girl alive if we got together. We get on so well and are always laughing and now I'm gutted I was once his perfect girl but I missed my chance to be with him.I would never get in the way of him and any girl and I still want him to be able to talk to me about stuff like that, because I love the fact we share things with eachother. I just want to know how to get him out of my head and go back to just thinking of him as a friend.Thank you for reading this. S x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, negru  +, writes (3 April 2007):
Well, if you really want to get him out of your head, you should look for a boyfriend for yourself. Not necessarily get one, just look. Find some guy, wherever, someone you know, some random cute guy on the street, and make yourself like him, think about him.
I've been trying this myself, and it does seem to work. Takes some time, tho. And most importantly, whenever you start thinking about your friend, try to stop immediately, or you'll end up where you started.
But most importantly, you first need to really convince yourself, and really want to let go of any hope. But take your time with this decision. Everyone will say, ya just let go, find someone else. Well I wonder, if we all just gave up when things got tough, and very little hope existed, where would we end up? You may have to wait, you will probably suffer, but who knows, in the end, it could be all worth it.
So, take your time, and decide what you really want to do.
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