A
male
age
36-40,
*ech135
writes:I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to persuade my girlfriend to change our sex life to something a little more compromising between us. I generally enjoy doing most of the work during sex since I really enjoy pleasing her and the sex that we have been having for almost a year has been pretty great but there are a few things I want to change at least some of the time. For starters we almost never have any foreplay pretty much goes from me kissing and undressing her and undressing myself to intercourse where it's almost always a position were I am doing most if not all of the work. Most of the time I enjoy this as it allows me to control myself better and lets me time my climaxing with hers to the point that we almost always orgasm together at the end. That part I don't want to change at all but a lot of the time it feels like I'm having to ask her more than I should to take a more dominant role where she is either on top or in control. She doesn't like positions where she is on top of me because she is very self conscious about her stomach and she gets tired quickly in just a normal woman on top position. When I can get her to do it she is very good at it and we both enjoy it but she usually will do it for a short time and then ask if we can change to something else which I'm totally fine with since she at least let me enjoy what I wanted for a little bit. We also basically have no foreplay since she really hates to give oral, to the point that we've been together for almost a year could probably count the number of time she's actually done it on both hands and she has never had anyone come in her mouth despite being sexually active since she was 16 (now 21). On the other side of the foreplay she will almost never actually let me do anything to her either orally or with my hands because she is extremely ticklish over her entire body. She literally will burst into bouts of laughter the second I touch or lick anything from her breasts and clit to just kissing or biting her neck and shoulders. I wouldn't mind if she didn't want me to because I was bad at it but apparently according to her and the girlfriend I'm pretty good. She actually commented on it one time saying that if I had been born a woman that I would have had to be a lesbian. While at times I enjoy just being able to easily please her and doing all the work and things my way so that we both get off together at the same time, I would really like it if she was more interested in foreplay because I enjoy the both giving and receiving a few things that I'm just not getting a lot of at the moment. It just seems a little odd to me how much she enjoys it when we do it but how much work I have to do to convince her to let me or to get her to do it to me. Although on the plus side the actual sex has never been bad and I've come away with a few bites that broke the skin and had several bite marks that looked like someone did a dental impression on my chest which is great since I happen to enjoy being bitten and biting. Or maybe I'm just dumb and don't know how lucky I am that she's so sensitive and easy to please.
View related questions:
breasts, foreplay, kissing, lesbian, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): Hey! So listen, you say that she is kind of self concious about her stomach right? That can either be a simple fix or a rather hard challenge depending on what kind of person she is. And since I don't know her, Ill just give you the common advice. Be sure to always tell her how beautiful she is. Even you guys are'nt having a sexual moment or mood going on, just always tell her what a goddess she really is. Every woman is a goddess, even thought some don't know it. And you sir, are a very nice catch indeed, excuse the rather rambunctious way of me putting this but you sound like you are very good in bed. So kudos to you ;) Oh and she dislikes oral right? Well a little trick I picked up is when she is actually giving oral have an open soda near by if possible. I use Monster Energy Drink because it is very strong. Gets rid of any taste imaginable. And maybe you could try using her tickle-ish-ness to your adventage....Ill say no more but just let your imagination run wild. And remember sex is a shared thing so its not fair if its one person! Okie dokie then, happy trails, hope this helped, and have fun with your lady friend ;) buh bye!
A
male
reader, Aech135 +, writes (7 January 2009):
Aech135 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i appreciate the feedback and the concern that i may a little to absorbed with it but (no offense intended) i think you may have exactly what i was saying pegged just a little askew. it's not a major issue to me or something that captivates my attention all the. If it was i actually probably would have written much less but much more specifically. this was more an interest i have in developing our sex life to a state the focus of of attention on who's particular preferred activities were a little more balanced. I wasn't trying to find a magic switch to flip to make her suck my dick (please excuse the bluntness there) but more of a way to make it grow more into both of our mutual interests as opposed to me catering more to hers as it is now. It's not a situation where i feel my needs are being neglected just an area i was curious how some people develop and communicate about. I'd by no means something I feel she is being pushed away by when i talk to her because she actually listens to me when i talk to her about things and i don't sit and whine desperately saying i want this and i want that. it's more of my trying to understand where her thoughts on certain things about it come from and if there is a way to show it to her from my point of view so she would understand it because how people feel about things is not always a very easy to communicate kind of thing even when its something simple like little things i like in bed and ways to do ones she like without making it tickle her. she is by no means prudish as she done some rather fun things at time and blatantly enjoyed doing it for both our enjoyment as have i. we may have only been together for a short time but we are fairly mature about it and this wouldn't be the sort of thing she'd get bent out of shape unless i somehow played into her insecurities to change her which i wouldn't do.
...............................
A
male
reader, Aech135 +, writes (7 January 2009):
Aech135 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso realized i have a few miswritten parts of this as i was typing and rewriting trying to describe enough detail to be useful for input without writing a short story about myself.
main one i caught was where i said her and the girlfriend. you can take the and the girlfriend out of that there aren't two of them. and i didn't mean it to seem as though its something i'm uncomfortable discussing with her or anything like that. i'm very secure as far as our relationship goes i know she loves me and i love her and we can talk about any real issues we have. it's just nice to have some unbiased outside feedback at times from normal people who may have delt with similar experience at one time or another.
...............................
A
male
reader, Aech135 +, writes (7 January 2009):
Aech135 is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontalking to her about things is probably the least of my issues. i don't think I've had an issue yet with her that we haven't sat down and talked about and when i know she's having issues with me i make her sit down and talk to me about it. she's actually the less communicative about why things bother her even when we discuss that certain things do bother her. sex things with her aren't things that bother her in a way that she'd get upset more than just she that she just dislikes certain things about the foreplay such as performing oral or (now that i remember this) that she really dislikes tasting herself when she kisses me and apparently she tastes it even if it is covered up by other flavors like to Listerine strips that i got for that specific purpose. I posted it on here more of a way of getting ideas on ways to talk to her about it that would make more sense to her since i can't always understand what goes on in her head and possible fixes or alternatives for problems she has with it. Also after think about how she is with some of it I think some of the ticklishness comes from her being very sensitive to begin with couple with some uncomfortableness she feels about her own body and her increased sensitivity due to excitement in bed.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): It should all come naturally in time, perhaps you could try talking to her about it though. Talk about it at a time when she won't be expecting any conversation about sex. Tell her bluntly, she will understand, make suggestions about how your sex could be improved, but you must compliment her at the same time, otherwise you could make her feel self-conscious. Good luck!
...............................
|
