A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm still in love with my ex, we broke up almost three months ago. He is dating, and i am too. I think he is really into this girl, as for me - i still miss him and love him.He still has some items in my home, and i have to stay in contact with him due to those items. Everytime we talk i have to act like a i am so happy without him. He walked out and never came back. Just the other day he text me about the phone bill, and at the end he added, "I saw some orchids today and i thought of you".I am totally not over him. Please, how do i find closure.
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female
reader, blackbroken  +, writes (6 April 2011):
i am in the same situation only two months gone feel inlove with a love rat was in a relatioship for 7 yrs he just stood me up at the airport and never called...i love him i gave him my all.......i feel like shit cant even type
A
female
reader, candiapple +, writes (15 October 2009):
so, i am in the same situation. i still love him, he loves me, yet we are moving on. We were not suppose to fall in love. I am 11 years older than him. We just started chatting and flirting online. Met, and started seeing each other for 2 years. He had a girlfriend, and i knew that from the beginning. She knew about me and we dated openly.... She had helped him set up his successful business and owned part of both of their homes. He had known her for 40 years!.. He is marrying her next week.!.... He reached a point where he was considering sacraficing his whole life for us. We talked and cried..... and had to be realistic... i'm older... 58.. he is 47... i don't have enough money to buy out his business and homes... his family and her family have know each other for years and expected them to get married...... we talk all of the time and both of us know our love is beyond this world. I''m trying to move on .. I'll never get over him. I guess i am going to try to incorporate him into my being and just know that he is with me and i am with him. IT SUCKS TO KNOW that the man you love will never be yours.. maybe...i figure that if circumstances are meant to be...... our paths will cross again.:(......
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A
female
reader, trtr +, writes (23 May 2009):
I was wondering how are you doing now? is it better? did you get closure? did you get over him? I am in the same situation, it is just that he is doing bad at work, he is losing his business and he start not to call and not to answer my emails or messages. I think I need closure too. I hope you are doing better now
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Thanks Sarcy for your kind words,
So there are three of us feeling like this. It's hard, it's real hard. But if I can do it and Sarcy can do it, then so can you. Take care babes, wishing you all the joy and happiness in the world.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 Hi there,
What Diovanlestat has said is really spot on. I too am in the same situation and I am trying to accept that my husband doesn't want me anymore.
This is so so hard but you have to try to accept that this man has moved on. The orchid thing was sweet but he is not trying to say he wants you back he is just making friendly chit chat. He obviously feels bad about bolting and thi eases his conscience. Truthfully the only way over this is to cut him off totally. No e-mails, texts, voice mails left at 4am etc etc. Just stop don't start all of that. When the desire comes to contact him try to keep yourself busy. I have found changing my routine has worked for me as I am now not in the position where it is so easy to call or text and by the time the time comes round and you are free to do so you are too tired to be bothered. I know you don't want to but arrange for your boyfriend to get his stuff back. I still have loads of my husbands stuff and seeing it everyday just makes things worse. If he can't get it put it in a bin bag and put it out of sight. I know you desperately want some closure here but he has made the closure for you. He doesn't want to come back and he hasn't tried to make amends so therefore he has ended the relationship. I am still looking for closure but have realised it is something I am never going to get. A psychotherapist told me 'sometimes there are no answers'. Incidently the more you push to talk to im and try to discuss 'the relationship' the more they will run a mile and you will hear nothing that you want. Let this man go, get rid of his stuff and find someone new who loves you for you. Keep your dignity and always behave pleasantly and you will be the winner here. Realy good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): I've been in this situation and I can tell you it's the most hardest thing in the world. That's how come I ended up here on Dear Cupid.
You must (for your own sanity) CUT ALL CONTACT. Even though you don't want to, even though it hurts not to see him, you must get him to remove his things, stop phoning him, don't take his calls and stop seeing him. He walked out, he's in a new relationship, he has a girlfriend that he likes better than you. Explain that you still care about him, but you must move on. Tell him your thinking about his girlfriends feelings and it is best that you finish the relationship for good.
Harsh I know, but this is what I tell myself every day. This is the truth. It's not about your love for him or his love for you. He thinks of you, he probably still cares, but not enough to continue his relationship with you. Your life with him is over, be glad for the good memories, learn from the bad and move on. One door has closed, but another one has opened. The road you have to travel has now changed, and you must travel it on your own. Oportunities that you could never have with him are now waiting for you to take. You can't go back and you can't wait. This guy belongs to somebody else, think about your own future and start living life to the full...... Sorry, hugs and kisses to both me and you.
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